Hungover chick #1: I was so drunk last night I can hardly even remember counting down.
Hungover chick #2: Did we even count down?
Hungover chick #1: Yeah, idiot.
Hungover chick #2: When?
–Lyric Diner, 22nd St & 3rd Ave
Hungover chick #1: I was so drunk last night I can hardly even remember counting down.
Hungover chick #2: Did we even count down?
Hungover chick #1: Yeah, idiot.
Hungover chick #2: When?
–Lyric Diner, 22nd St & 3rd Ave
Little girl: Hey, my friend makes more money than you.
Employee: Yeah, I’m sure that’s true.
Little girl: No. Look at her — she’s seven and doesn’t have a job.
Employee: You’re making me feel much better.
–McDonald’s, Delancey & Essex
NYC woman: We’re here!
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura, I thought we were here to get cheap fake purses?
NYC woman: We are — this is Chinatown.
Southern tourist bimbo: Why are there so many Chinese people?
NYC woman, slowly: This is Chinatown…
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura! You know I hate Chinese people!
–Canal St
Overheard by: The Wizard
High schooler #1: I want to give up something for Lent, but I’m not sure what.
High schooler #2: Why don’t you give up TV?
High schooler #1: What?! Are you crazy? I would just die! Especially in the winter months — my face would just melt off.
–BX10 bus, Bronx
Overheard by: Princessbeena
Bimbette #1: My brain hurts. That Chemistry test made me think too much.
Bimbette #2: Well, yeah. I mean, you were using it, and it is the largest muscle in the human body.
Bimbette #1: Oh, right.
Bimbette #2: Wait… Or is it the heart?
Bimbette #1: No, I think your brain is definitely bigger. But who cares, I just want to pop some Advil.
–NYU
Overheard by: Amateur Brain Cardiologist
Girl #1: Have you ever had a ‘sandy eggo’?
Girl #2: Ummm… What’s that?
Girl #1: Just guess from the name!
Girl #2: Uh… A whale’s vagina?
–1 train
Guy in BYU tee: Let’s just face it — no one we meet here will be normal.
BYU girl: Yeah, you’re so right.
–Washington Square Park
Teen girl #1: So wait, what does ‘DUMBO’ stand for?
Teen girl #2: Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass.
Teen girl #1: Oooh, so then that area by the Brooklyn Bridge is ‘BUMBO,’ right?
–Grimaldi’s, DUMBO
Overheard by: michael Ciancio
Construction worker #1: Braille really trips me out.
Construction worker #2: I know. Me, too.
Construction worker #1: Do you think they have different fonts?
–21st St & Park Ave
Coworker #1: I just found out what ‘queef’ means.
Coworker #2: You’re on speakerphone.
Coworker #1: Queef, queef, queef, queef.
–Midtown office
Overheard by: Ruth
