High schooler #1: I want to give up something for Lent, but I’m not sure what.
High schooler #2: Why don’t you give up TV?
High schooler #1: What?! Are you crazy? I would just die! Especially in the winter months — my face would just melt off.
–BX10 bus, Bronx
Overheard by: Princessbeena
Bimbette #1: My brain hurts. That Chemistry test made me think too much.
Bimbette #2: Well, yeah. I mean, you were using it, and it is the largest muscle in the human body.
Bimbette #1: Oh, right.
Bimbette #2: Wait… Or is it the heart?
Bimbette #1: No, I think your brain is definitely bigger. But who cares, I just want to pop some Advil.
–NYU
Overheard by: Amateur Brain Cardiologist
Girl #1: Have you ever had a ‘sandy eggo’?
Girl #2: Ummm… What’s that?
Girl #1: Just guess from the name!
Girl #2: Uh… A whale’s vagina?
–1 train
Guy in BYU tee: Let’s just face it — no one we meet here will be normal.
BYU girl: Yeah, you’re so right.
–Washington Square Park
Teen girl #1: So wait, what does ‘DUMBO’ stand for?
Teen girl #2: Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass.
Teen girl #1: Oooh, so then that area by the Brooklyn Bridge is ‘BUMBO,’ right?
–Grimaldi’s, DUMBO
Overheard by: michael Ciancio
Construction worker #1: Braille really trips me out.
Construction worker #2: I know. Me, too.
Construction worker #1: Do you think they have different fonts?
–21st St & Park Ave
Coworker #1: I just found out what ‘queef’ means.
Coworker #2: You’re on speakerphone.
Coworker #1: Queef, queef, queef, queef.
–Midtown office
Overheard by: Ruth
Black guy: I’m Jesus!
Woman: No, you’re not.
Black guy: Lady, I’m Jesus!
–A train
Overheard by: LSB
Angry black lady: I’m gonna 69 that motherfucker!
Friend: What?!
Angry black lady: I mean, 68 or 67 or… I dunno. Star 67! That way the bitch won’t know it’s me callin’.
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: This is what makes New York City so great
Young thug: Don’t be talkin’ ’bout Sigmund Freud. That’s my dawg.
–W 85th & Broadway
Chick: I don’t like smooth talk. I’m too slow for it.
–2nd St & Ave B
Overheard by: apples
Business chick: We keep talking about nymphomania, but I can’t remember what we decided.
–Rite-Aid, 125th & 5th
Guido on cell: Fucking the shit out of you, lying in bed after, and talking about state capitals! Is that all I fucking am to you? That’s the fucking highlight of my life.
–3rd Ave & 85th St, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: punkee
NYU chick: My mom’s calling me — let’s stop talking about how I think she’s a lesbian.
–Grand Central
Woman on cell: We just sat around and drank wine, watched movies, and talked about art and Armenian genocide — you know, the usual.
–Key Food, Park Slope
Overheard by: The Eel
Teacher: It’s scary when you people talk out loud. Some of the dumbest things come out of your mouths.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
