The Story Wasn’t That Funny

Teen girl #1: Do you ever have to fart really badly in class?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, like today. I ate a PowerBar and I’ve had to shit like crazy so I keep farting.
Teen girl #1: But you can’t do it in class ’cause then it smells and people know it’s you.
Teen girl #2: You can stick dryer sheets in your pants and then it doesn’t smell as much.
Teen girl #3: But how do you keep them in there?
Teen girl #2: Well, if your pants are tight enough, where they gonna go?
Teen girl #1: Or sometimes you can ask to go to the bathroom and when you stand up your ass cheeks squeeze together and you can’t fart.
Teen girl #2: But in the two seconds before you’re standing you can’t control it, then you fart.
Teen girl #1: Damn it, I have to take a shit.

–Bronx Science

Overheard by: LSB

Posted on April 17, 2006
Bronx Science, Fast Times at New York High, Food, Poop, Teens, The Bronx

I Like When She Eats the Carrion

Teen girl #1: Bitches be dissin’ on Disney Channel.
Teen girl #2: Yeah.
Teen girl #1: But you know them bitches be runnin’ home to watch That’s So Raven.
Teen girl #2: It’s 7:15.
Teen girl #1: Shit, we gonna miss it.

–4 train

Overheard by: Noah Gallagher

Posted on April 15, 2006
On the Subway, Pop Culture, Teens, TV

Guys Always Get to Pee Faster

Teen girl: My Facebook password is “pee”.
Teen guy: “P”?
Teen girl: No, “pee”. P-e-e. Like, to take a pee. I just couldn’t think of anything. It used to be “poo”. Whatever, it’ll probably get hacked by some stalker anyway.
Teen guy: Who would hack your profile?
Teen girl: My brother did it before. He guessed the password in like three minutes.

–Hayden Hall Residence elevator, Washington Square West

Posted on April 15, 2006
Poop, Stupidity, Teens, The Village

It’s a Pit, But With a Killer Vibe

Tour chick: Have you been to Ground Zero yet?
Teen girl: You mean the club?

–8th & Broadway

Posted on April 14, 2006
Ground Zero, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Tourist Attractions, Tourists

Winners & Losers (NYC Short Stories)

Girl #1: I can’t believe you hang out with that guy…All of your friends are such losers!
Girl #2: Well, I hang out with you, don’t I?
Girl #1: I think that proves my point more than it does yours.

–77th & Columbus

Chick #1: Well most of your friends are losers anyway. Who cares what they do?
Chick #2: No, one of them’s engaged.

–F train

Overheard by: Kira

Posted on April 13, 2006
Friendship, Manhattan, Marriage, On the Subway, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

The Science That is Wednesday One-liners

Guy: Yeah, it’s like all three of our neurons are coming together right now.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Phe

Posted on April 12, 2006
At the Airport, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Fast Times at New York High, Manhattan, On the Subway, One-liners, Sports, Stupidity, Stuyvesant, Teens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Two in Dalmatian

Tween girl: I lost my cell phone twice and then got a new one. And I lost my GameBoy. And got a new one.
Tween boy: Do you know how much that cost?
Tween girl: Yeah, well, I’m crazy rich.
Tween boy: How many jackets you got?
Tween girl: Fifteen.

–M104 bus

Overheard by: Fatty McFingers

Posted on April 11, 2006
Money & Class, On the Bus, Shopping, Should've Used a Condom, Teens, Video Games

Jesus Had That Same Exact Problem

Teen boy #1: People tell me that I have an “I think I’m better than everyone” complex. But the thing is, that I don’t think I’m better than everyone, I know I am. I’m more intelligent, more thoughtful, more articulate…
Teen boy #2: Prettier…
Teen boy #1: Well, I don’t know about prettier, but I know I’m better than most people.
Teen boy #2: I know. The problem is when you say that, people think you’re an asshole. And it’s like, at work, I know I’m so much smarter than everyone there, but I can never do anything right. They never listen to me because I’m only 18 years old.

–M60 bus

Overheard by: Abby

Posted on April 10, 2006
Etiquette, Friendship, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, On the Bus, Stupidity, Teens

Give Her a Second (or a Hand)

Teacher guy: You guys know that clock in Union Square that goes
backwards, right?
Teen girl: But why does it change?

–Midwood High School

Posted on April 9, 2006
Brooklyn, Fast Times at New York High, History & Geography, NYC Geography, Stupidity, Teens

Surely He Added “Please”

Teen boy #1: Yo, why the fuck these niggas keep getting on? Ain’t no room for them.
Teen boy #2: Next bus! Next bus, please!
Teen boy #1: Ugh, what the fuck, man? What they gonna do, climb up people’s ass?
Teen boy #3: The bus driver should tell them to move back.
Teen boy #1: Pssh, that shit don’t work.
Teen boy #3: Naw man, it does. Last time on the school bus, the driver was like, “Stop playin’, niggas.” For real, that’s what he said.

–Q13 bus

Posted on April 8, 2006
Anger Management, Crime and Punishment, Etiquette, On the Bus, Teens, Thugs, Travel, Violence

Teens