Guy #1: Well, from what he told me, Fox has expressed “concrete interest”.
Guy #2: I don’t know… A reality show about magicians?
Guy #1: I know, it could be really bad.
Guy #2: It could be really good though. Like, if they were alcoholics who beat their children…
–Elevator, 57th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dan
Guy to friend: Yo! I’m mad hungry! I want some anus! [Passengers stare.] … Awww, shit! I meant that shit from McDonald’s — angus! Angus!
–4 train
Enthusiastic queer: This train smells like McDonald’s! Someone’s being a chubby chicken!
–Queens-bound N train
Overheard by: Onion
Hobo: Just so you know, they don’t got liquor stores in heaven. They don’t got no McDonald’s, neither.
–1 train
Overheard by: Galen
Girl on cell: He’s obsessed with America’s Next Top Model… And he watches What Not to Wear… What? No… Mom, he said that McDonald’s fries are his weakness, but they go straight to his thighs! How much gayer do you need him to be?!
–Pratt Institute
Mom to crying kid in stroller: Well, if you don’t want McDonald’s, I don’t know what I can get you.
–207th & Broadway
Chick, peering into bar: Hey! The Yankees are on!
Dude: What are you, poor? Let’s go home and watch it in HD.
–110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Barry P.
Poli-sci professor: How can someone directly counteract the message of porn? What is the counter speech alternative?
Student: Seventh Heaven?
–NYU
Overheard by: Rajsingh Rules
Dude #1: That show Intervention is genius. Drug addicts make great TV.
Dude #2: Oh, I know, but I prefer the enablers.
–1 train
Overheard by: confused early twenty something
Fag hag: So, how’s your hot cousin?
Queer: He’s dating this girl now… She’s cute, tall… Looks like Katie Holmes — has the same look on her face.
Fag hag: What look is that?
Queer: You know — sad.
–Nederlander Theatre
Overheard by: Crazy Legs Freddy
Girl: Yeah, so then Bob said–
Guy: –Wait, who’s Bob?
Girl: SpongeBob.
Guy: Oh, right, right.
–Sullivan & Bleecker
Latino: Why does Cookie Monster have to eat cookies? Why can’t he be, like… Veggie Monster?
Whitey: Yeah, man, the veggies!
Friend: ‘Cause Tom said so! That’s why he’s the Cookie Monster — ’cause he’s gotta eat cookies!
Latino and whitey: Really?
Friend: Yeah.
–Diner, 59th St
NYU guy #1: I was watching that Dateline show, To Catch a Predator last night on TV.
NYU guy #2: Chris Hansen is the world’s biggest cock-block.
NYU guy #3: Chris Hansen? Didn’t he invent the Muppets?
–NYU Palladium Dining Hall
Mom: You’re going to have a great time.
Kid: But is Chicago safe?
Mom: Of course it is! Oprah lives there!
–JFK
