Girl: Yeah, so then Bob said–
Guy: –Wait, who’s Bob?
Girl: SpongeBob.
Guy: Oh, right, right.
–Sullivan & Bleecker
Girl: Yeah, so then Bob said–
Guy: –Wait, who’s Bob?
Girl: SpongeBob.
Guy: Oh, right, right.
–Sullivan & Bleecker
Latino: Why does Cookie Monster have to eat cookies? Why can’t he be, like… Veggie Monster?
Whitey: Yeah, man, the veggies!
Friend: ‘Cause Tom said so! That’s why he’s the Cookie Monster — ’cause he’s gotta eat cookies!
Latino and whitey: Really?
Friend: Yeah.
–Diner, 59th St
NYU guy #1: I was watching that Dateline show, To Catch a Predator last night on TV.
NYU guy #2: Chris Hansen is the world’s biggest cock-block.
NYU guy #3: Chris Hansen? Didn’t he invent the Muppets?
–NYU Palladium Dining Hall
Mom: You’re going to have a great time.
Kid: But is Chicago safe?
Mom: Of course it is! Oprah lives there!
–JFK
Male student: Hey, do you want to watch Harold and Maude later?
Female student #1: Is that the one–? Never mind.
Male student: Wait, what were you going to say?
Female student #1: Is that the one with the hippos?
Male student: What are you talking about?
Female student #1: One wore a suit jacket, and the other wore a little dress…
Male student, later: Wanna see Harold and Maude later?
Female student #2: Is that the one with the hippos? Did one of them have a hat?
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Olivia
Girl: It’s this way.
Guy: Are you sure?
Girl: I know where all the Jamba Juice is.
Guy: Are.
Girl: What?
Guy: Are. You know where all the Jamba Juice are.
Girl: Is.
Guy: Are! Each franchise is a separate entity!
Girl: Is! They’re all part of single collective!
Guy: Jamba Juice is not the Borg!
–50th & Broadway
Hipster chick: Hey, what do you do when Pikachu won’t get on a bus?
Thug: I dunno.
Hipster chick: You poke him on! Get it? Like Pokemon?
Thug: No, then he would thunderstrike you.
Hipster chick: [Silence.]Thug: He’s an electric type, you know?
–M14D bus, 1st Ave
Overheard by: melanie
Dude #1: Plus, I was watching The Sandlot, so that always stresses me out.
Dude #2: It does?
Dude #1: Yeah. Even though I know what’s going to happen, I get really anxious… That’s also the reason I don’t watch Full House.
–Q train
Overheard by: dianora
Thug #1: You a Zack Morris-lookin’ motherfucker. Show him your gun.
Thug #2: We can be your body guards… Fuck up AC Slater for you.
Thug #1: Word. Get us some fine white bitches with Zack Morris.
–Alley next to Hogs & Heffers
Overheard by: Time to Call Mr. Belding
Nerd #1: Didn’t Ford’s body get shipped to Washington?
Nerd #2: No.
Nerd #1: Oh. Then I must have seen that on 24 or something.
–Union Square
