Tourist lady #1: Look Sherry, there’s the tree.
Tourist lady #2: Wow, great! I’m soooo excited. (sees it) That’s it? Looks bigger on TV!
Tourist lady #1: Everything looks bigger on TV. Oprah isn’t really that fat.
Passerby: This ain’t Rockefeller Center ladies, go back to Kansas.
–Bryant Park Tree, 6th Ave & 41st
Overheard by: tonyElev
Suit: Do you know what it’s like when you’re reading the news and you get 19 clips of Brazilian women fucking?
–Astor Place & Lafayette
Overheard by: that’s a problem?
Woman to dinner companion: I think I’d like to get into flagellation porn. I’m not really sure how to go about it though.
–Ludlow & Broome
Random girl, during lull in party conversation: But it’s straight porn!
–Bleecker & W 10th
Overheard by: Deontology
Guy: I wouldn’t fuck her if she was the last person on earth! There had better be porn on cable!
–5 Train
Professor: Does anyone know Henry Miller? [Girl raises her hand.] You and those of us… those of us who had to resort to the Sears Roebuck catalog for porn… Well, when we got older we had to turn to higher literature so we’d flip through Henry Miller for delightful dirty passages.
–Religion Class, Hunter College
Overheard by: liza
DOB lady #1: You ever see that stupid show, Family Guy?
DOB lady #2, with conviction: No. I don’t get involved in that mess. It’s a place you won’t come out.
–Brooklyn Dept. of Buildings
Overheard by: Choheat
Frat boy on cell: Next time this happens, just grab him by the penis and drag him into bed.
–Grand Central
Frat boy: I mean, STDs are nothing to worry about. There are more Pokemon than there are STDs!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Pikachu
Enthusiastic frat boy: Sure, sure, but back in history when there were no diseases…
–57th Street & 8th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Frat boy on cell: If I were him, I’d tell her to get her boobs put in too, as long as she’s already under.
–Mercer & 8th
Incensed frat-type dude on cell: Dude! I didn’t fingerbang your sister in Tijuana! I’m not a snake like that. I fingerbanged her in Cancun, so it was on American soil… And you were in the next bed. Tell me you don’t remember any of this?!
–NR Train
Guy #1: The reason people don’t read enough is because there’s too many other forms of media that are more interesting. Why is some kid gonna pick up a book when he can watch one of the thousands channels on TV? That’s it! There needs to be a channel about books!
Guy #2: There is a channel about books. It’s called Book TV. It’s boring as hell.
Guy #1: Oh.
–Near Baruch College, 23rd St
Guy to self: Doctor Jean Grey has the most powerful orgasm of all the X-Men.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Stan
Engineering school chick, screaming: And I was like, ‘Oh my god, this is the worst protractor ever!’
–Columbia University
Skanky hipster chick to another: I would totally do him… But only if I had the ninja outfit on.
–Ludlow St.
[Four NYPD cops are checking people’s bags at rush hour. A man in a suit appears to be their superior.]Man in suit: But then he realizes that Jedis don’t seek revenge. [The four cops all nod gravely.]
–W 4th St Subway Station
Overheard by: KL
Fiftyish suit: Chewbacca, the original wingman…
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Ike
Woman on cell: I’m busy. I’ve got things to do. And right now what I’m doing is looking at comic books.
–Forbidden Planet
Overheard by: Josh
Chick: We were always competing to be chief geek… But he had asperger’s, so he won.
–Central Park
Actor/giants fan: Tom Coughlin loves Sienfeld, and so they took Seinfeld off the air in Wisconsin! Can you believe that?
Anthony Rapp: Seinfeld is for white people.
–Theatre, 43rd & 8th
Guy on cell: There was Laura Ingalls and the mean one… What was her name?
Passerby: Nellie!
–Entrance, A Train
Overheard by: TRUE
MTA employee #1: You know, it’s thought that the first vampire was actually Lilith…
MTA employee #2: You mean Frasier’s wife?
–7 Train
Overheard by: The only other person who got it.
Traveller: Can you put on CBS so we can watch the basketball?
Bartender: It’s not on.
Traveller: Really? It should be…
Bartender: Yeah, it *was* on, but then that guy came on to talk. You know, that guy, what’s his name? The president?
–Bar, JFK Terminal 7
Overheard by: NCS
