DOB lady #1: You ever see that stupid show, Family Guy?
DOB lady #2, with conviction: No. I don’t get involved in that mess. It’s a place you won’t come out.
–Brooklyn Dept. of Buildings
Overheard by: Choheat
DOB lady #1: You ever see that stupid show, Family Guy?
DOB lady #2, with conviction: No. I don’t get involved in that mess. It’s a place you won’t come out.
–Brooklyn Dept. of Buildings
Overheard by: Choheat
Frat boy on cell: Next time this happens, just grab him by the penis and drag him into bed.
–Grand Central
Frat boy: I mean, STDs are nothing to worry about. There are more Pokemon than there are STDs!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Pikachu
Enthusiastic frat boy: Sure, sure, but back in history when there were no diseases…
–57th Street & 8th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Frat boy on cell: If I were him, I’d tell her to get her boobs put in too, as long as she’s already under.
–Mercer & 8th
Incensed frat-type dude on cell: Dude! I didn’t fingerbang your sister in Tijuana! I’m not a snake like that. I fingerbanged her in Cancun, so it was on American soil… And you were in the next bed. Tell me you don’t remember any of this?!
–NR Train
Guy #1: The reason people don’t read enough is because there’s too many other forms of media that are more interesting. Why is some kid gonna pick up a book when he can watch one of the thousands channels on TV? That’s it! There needs to be a channel about books!
Guy #2: There is a channel about books. It’s called Book TV. It’s boring as hell.
Guy #1: Oh.
–Near Baruch College, 23rd St
Guy to self: Doctor Jean Grey has the most powerful orgasm of all the X-Men.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Stan
Engineering school chick, screaming: And I was like, ‘Oh my god, this is the worst protractor ever!’
–Columbia University
Skanky hipster chick to another: I would totally do him… But only if I had the ninja outfit on.
–Ludlow St.
[Four NYPD cops are checking people’s bags at rush hour. A man in a suit appears to be their superior.]Man in suit: But then he realizes that Jedis don’t seek revenge. [The four cops all nod gravely.]
–W 4th St Subway Station
Overheard by: KL
Fiftyish suit: Chewbacca, the original wingman…
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Ike
Woman on cell: I’m busy. I’ve got things to do. And right now what I’m doing is looking at comic books.
–Forbidden Planet
Overheard by: Josh
Chick: We were always competing to be chief geek… But he had asperger’s, so he won.
–Central Park
Actor/giants fan: Tom Coughlin loves Sienfeld, and so they took Seinfeld off the air in Wisconsin! Can you believe that?
Anthony Rapp: Seinfeld is for white people.
–Theatre, 43rd & 8th
Guy on cell: There was Laura Ingalls and the mean one… What was her name?
Passerby: Nellie!
–Entrance, A Train
Overheard by: TRUE
MTA employee #1: You know, it’s thought that the first vampire was actually Lilith…
MTA employee #2: You mean Frasier’s wife?
–7 Train
Overheard by: The only other person who got it.
Traveller: Can you put on CBS so we can watch the basketball?
Bartender: It’s not on.
Traveller: Really? It should be…
Bartender: Yeah, it *was* on, but then that guy came on to talk. You know, that guy, what’s his name? The president?
–Bar, JFK Terminal 7
Overheard by: NCS
Guy #1: Well, from what he told me, Fox has expressed “concrete interest”.
Guy #2: I don’t know… A reality show about magicians?
Guy #1: I know, it could be really bad.
Guy #2: It could be really good though. Like, if they were alcoholics who beat their children…
–Elevator, 57th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dan
Guy to friend: Yo! I’m mad hungry! I want some anus! [Passengers stare.] … Awww, shit! I meant that shit from McDonald’s — angus! Angus!
–4 train
Enthusiastic queer: This train smells like McDonald’s! Someone’s being a chubby chicken!
–Queens-bound N train
Overheard by: Onion
Hobo: Just so you know, they don’t got liquor stores in heaven. They don’t got no McDonald’s, neither.
–1 train
Overheard by: Galen
Girl on cell: He’s obsessed with America’s Next Top Model… And he watches What Not to Wear… What? No… Mom, he said that McDonald’s fries are his weakness, but they go straight to his thighs! How much gayer do you need him to be?!
–Pratt Institute
Mom to crying kid in stroller: Well, if you don’t want McDonald’s, I don’t know what I can get you.
–207th & Broadway
