Girl #1: MTV is putting out another one of those stupid beach shows where they just film stuck-up bitches.
Girl #2: They have so fucking many of those, they’re pointless, they need to do something different.
Girl #1: Yeah! They should film us, that would be awesome.
Girl #2: Totally, I would watch it.
(pause)
Girl #1: My ankles hurt!
Girl #2: Yeah, my left one hurts.
Girl #1: My right does.
–Park & Lexington
Overheard by: Emily J.
Patron: Do these stairs go up?
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Maura
Drunk White Sox fan to passerby: Hey, what time does Times Square close?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: giovanna
Dude at the next table: Is Long Island really an island?
–Peter Luger’s, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Yes, he really just said that
(girl sees poster for Army Wives and turns to friend)
Girl: I don’t get that show. Are they married to army dudes or something?
–C Train
Southern lady: Empire State ReBuilding? Does that mean they’re moving it?
–33rd & 5th
Overheard by: Katie Mainc
Male retiree: Do you have any books by Stephen Hawking?
Librarian: By him or about him?
Male retiree: I don’t know. An easy one. Did you know he has two kids?
Librarian: No…
Male retiree: Yeah, I saw him on PBS last night, he’s, you know… And he has two kids!
Librarian: He must be proud.
–Brooklyn Library
Woman: You know, the only shots Beth* will take are jello shots. She loves them!
Friend: Oh, that’s hilarious.
Woman: I know, I mean she’s 93 years old and still hopping. She loves the high-def television.
–B.L.T Prime, E. 22nd St
Overheard by: cracking up by the coat check
Teacher: Who was the first African-American woman court justice?
Girl: Judge Judy!
–Leon M. Goldstein High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert
Woman #1: Ooh. I like that top!
Woman #2: Thanks.
Woman #1: It’s very Sex and the City. Where’d ya get it?
Woman #2: Penney’s.
–Shuttle Train to Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Robert
Girl #1: God, I hate professional basketball. The other night I was hanging out with some guys and they were like: “The playoffs are on!” and I was like: “Yea, so is The Hills.”
Girl #2 (disgusted): Ugh, you watch that?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Actually, so do I.
–MJ Armstrong’s Public House
Hipster girl: You know, I’ll find out if you’re lying. Then I’ll kill you.
Hipster guy: Yeah, I’m sure you could, Magnum P.I.
Hipster girl: (blank stare)
Hipster guy: You know? Private investigator? In Hawaii? It was a TV show in the 80s? Tom Selleck?
Hipster girl: If you’re just going to keep referencing obscure things this conversation isn’t going to go anywhere.
–F Frain
Kid #1, sharing iPod with kid #2: Hey, it’s the CSI song!
Kid #2: (laughs) Yeah.
Kid #1: It’s like we’re secret agents!
Kid #2: (laughs) No.
Kid #1: Yeah! It is.
Kid #2: No… It’s like, we’re stoners on the subway listening to The Who.
–F Train
Drunk girl: That sucks that Souljah Boy is getting sued. His song is really good.
Drunk guy: Are you serious? Do you know what “Superman” means?
Drunk girl: Yeah, it means you ejaculate on someone’s back and stick the bed sheet to it. Like a Superman cape.
Drunk guy: Ok, but do you know what “Spiderman” means?
Drunk girl: No.
Drunk guy: It means you cum in your hand and throw it at the chick in a big blob!
Drunk girl: Ewww, like Nickelodeon Gak!
–House Party, Bronx
Overheard by: Sromeo
