Upper East Side

Foreign girl: How is your puffy friend?
American guy: What?
Foreign girl: You know, the puffy! (hold out her hands to indicate fatness)
American guy: Oh, yeah, he's good.

–89th & 2nd

Overheard by: Tom

Girl #1: I think I should get these high heel shoes ’cause Joe is really tall so I need to like, be able to reach him when I’m giving him head.
Girl #2: But…how would that help? You’re gonna be on your knees anyway.
Girl #1: Oh, that’s true. Hmm, do you think Steve makes something for that?

–Steve Madden, 83rd St.

Overheard by: Amanda Fox

Girl: I gotta buy a new hair dryer.
Guy: You just got one like two weeks ago!
Girl: Yeah, I know, but I don't like it. I mean, it dries my hair, but not the way I like.
Guy: (sighs)

–E 84th St

Overheard by: Lisa Freestone

[guy takes a flyer]Flyer guy: Hey, do you want to know about…
Guy interrupting: No.
[guy goes into revolving door and flyer guy follows him into the same section of the door and stops it]Flyer guy: Don’t be such a jerkwad, I want my flyer back.

–68th St Loews

Overheard by: LSB

13-year-old WASP girl #1: Hey.
13-year-old WASP girl #2: You’re a fucking bitch. I hope you burn in hell.

–85th & 1st

Overheard by: Rob

Woman: Hi, I just realized today that my wallet was stolen a month ago.

–Chase Manhattan, Broadway & 73rd

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Guy: I’ll have a Mahatma grande.

–Starbucks, Broadway & 98th

Lady: If it was a real fortune-teller or whatever, they’re not supposed to charge you, right?

–78th & 2nd

Overheard by: Todd Seavey

Young Upper East Sider woman: “And I told her, I want to be a princess!”

In front of Normandie Court

Guy: I need a cigarette…I need a cigarette…I need a cigarette!
Barista chick: Yeah, well I need a blunt but I can’t get one right now!

–Starbucks, 95th & Broadway

Overheard by: Caro

Normal-looking guy #1: And this is why I need a suit of armor.
Normal-looking guy #2: I know man, me too.

–76th & 2nd

Woman on cell: I can't come. I'm in the Poconos right now.

–Rite Aid, The Bronx

Punk girl on phone: Hi mom…yeah… Yeah, me and Jane are just walking around in the neighborhood… Yeah, we're at the Time Warner center right now. No! No, of course I'm not on St. Mark's. No. I'd never go there. Of course I'm sober! Why wouldn't I be? Yeah. Okay, love you, bye! (hangs up phone, now to friend with beer) Gimme some of that!

–St. Mark's Place

Russian guy on phone (in Russian): Yeah, I'm on Avenue M. I just got off, I'll be there in a few.

–Q Train, Kings Highway

Overheard by: Robert

Dude on cell: Yo! What's up? I'm waiting at LaGuardia.

–Martin Luther King High School

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm on Long Island right now. I'll be here for a little while.

–Park Slope

Female suit on phone: I have to cancel dinner tonight, I had that meeting I told you about, remember? And I'm still not back yet. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in Jersey still.

–Washington Square Park

Woman on cell outside a pub: Honey? It's mommy. We're still at the hospital. I don't know, we could still be here for hours.

–1st & 72nd

Overheard by: Well, there were hospitals nearby, at least