Wednesday One-Liners Looked Better in the Previews

Husky unshaved guy to younger girlfriend: You mean you never saw Animal House? You're not human!

–Lower West Side

Thug to another: Jabba the Hutt? That's like some Tony Soprano shit, nigga. And the spices? That's drugs. Star Wars drugs!

–13th St & University

Overheard by: Jaimie

Girl to friends: My English teacher said Precious is "whack."

–City Cinemas, E 86th St

Stuffy Bulgarian professor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It's very funny, right?

–NYU

Overheard by: really glad I got up before 9:30 for this

Girl on cell: Yeah, after that movie, I'm gonna think all adopted kids are evil dwarfs with a hormone imbalance.

–Columbus Circle

Posted on January 24, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Drugs, Film, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Handicaps, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Movie Theaters, Movies, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Street, Teachers/Professors, The Village, Thugs, TV, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Words

Wednesday One-liners Make History Come Alive

Dude: Dude, the Thirty Years War ended four hundred years ago! Get over it!

–63rd and York

Overheard by: John Bardes

Amateur historian: The English people that lived on the Island respected her because she is Italian, and the English respect Italians because they respected the Romans.

–Penn Station

Posted on January 3, 2019
History & Geography, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Upper East Side

I Also Have Too Many Inches for the Ladies

Girl #1: Was he a virgin?
Girl #2: Yeah, I think so.
Girl #1: I bet. He totally needed a new haircut.

–Uptown Lounge, 3rd Avenue

Posted on December 16, 2018
Bars & Clubs, Dating, Fashion, Manhattan, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Upper East Side

I Believe He Goes by “Mr. Magic Dragon” Now

Foreign girl: How is your puffy friend?
American guy: What?
Foreign girl: You know, the puffy! (hold out her hands to indicate fatness)
American guy: Oh, yeah, he's good.

–89th & 2nd

Overheard by: Tom

Posted on December 12, 2018
Diet/Weight, Foreigners, Girls, Guys, Physical appearance, Questions, Upper East Side, Words

Nike Does — They’re Called Knee Pads

Girl #1: I think I should get these high heel shoes ’cause Joe is really tall so I need to like, be able to reach him when I’m giving him head.
Girl #2: But…how would that help? You’re gonna be on your knees anyway.
Girl #1: Oh, that’s true. Hmm, do you think Steve makes something for that?

–Steve Madden, 83rd St.

Overheard by: Amanda Fox

Posted on December 7, 2018
Fashion, Sex, Upper East Side

Gay Men: Welcome to Our World, Straight Boy!

Girl: I gotta buy a new hair dryer.
Guy: You just got one like two weeks ago!
Girl: Yeah, I know, but I don't like it. I mean, it dries my hair, but not the way I like.
Guy: (sighs)

–E 84th St

Overheard by: Lisa Freestone

Posted on November 4, 2018
Girls, Guys, Hair, Shopping, Upper East Side

You’ll Have to Pry It from My Cold, Dead Hands

[guy takes a flyer]Flyer guy: Hey, do you want to know about…
Guy interrupting: No.
[guy goes into revolving door and flyer guy follows him into the same section of the door and stops it]Flyer guy: Don’t be such a jerkwad, I want my flyer back.

–68th St Loews

Overheard by: LSB