Man: There's an overpopulation of deer in the country.
Girl: Deers!
Man: Right, deers.
–Prospect Park Boathouse
Man: There's an overpopulation of deer in the country.
Girl: Deers!
Man: Right, deers.
–Prospect Park Boathouse
Teenager #1: Yeah, I'm ambi-dicks-trous.
Teenager #2: What?
Teenager #1: Yeah, I can write with both my dicks.
–West Village
Three-year-old distraught child: Mommy, mommy, she thought I was five years old.
Grandmother: Do you know why? Because she thought you were a big boy!
Mother: When you're five, you're going to stop sucking your… (waits for a response)
Three-year-old, face now lit up: My penis!
–79th & 5th
Man #1, with hands in the air: And what the hell is with those sheep?
Man #2: They originate from New Zealand, right?
–1st Ave & 10th
Queer friend to gangsta, enthusiastically: So, lemme ask you a question! How did you decide you wanted to go through with getting initiated and everything?
Gangsta: What?
Queer friend: Like, how did you decide you wanted to join?
(gangsta whispers into friends ear, cautiously)
Queer friend, loudly: So, that's it? You just walk up to them and say, “hey! I'd like to join the bloods”?
–A Train
Man being introduced to teenager: So, what was your name ag…
Interrupting man, holding a large pamphlet: Want to stick your foot up the devil's ass?
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: flmngarrow
Woman to man: So, how are you?
Man: Oh, I'm just peachy!
Woman: Really? How was your day?
Man: Great, I'm ready to hang myself!
Woman: Why what happened?
Man: Nothing. You know, that's every day. Actually, today wasn't even so bad.
–Subway Station
Jewish girl: That reminds me of this old Jewish story. Like, there was this queen with seven sons and she had to decide which one would be king, so she told all of them to go bring her a great treasure and they all came back with like gold and jewels but then the youngest one came back with this little orphan girl and he's like “Oh, she just needs love,” so the mom is like, “yes, you shall be king!”
(entire class is silent)
Random guy: Wait…what?
Jewish boy: This is why we're oppressed.
–Stuyvesant High School
Drunk man: Me and fat Dave, we're goin' out old school!
Female coworker: Old school?
Drunk man: Yeah, Hoboken!
–Restaurant, 52nd & 10th
