(guy runs by, slams into black girl on his way to make his train)
Black girl: Excuuuuuuuse you!
Guy: I’m on fire!
–L Train
Overheard by: clitoris rex
(guy runs by, slams into black girl on his way to make his train)
Black girl: Excuuuuuuuse you!
Guy: I’m on fire!
–L Train
Overheard by: clitoris rex
Cute girl: And ew! I can’t believe she slept with her brother!
Attractive, fashionable queer: I know! And he isn’t even that cute.
–St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: paul
20-something chick #1: Theresa hasn’t responded to that e-mail yet.
20-something chick #2: Is that the one where we told her we don’t like her?
–Sephora, 58th & Lex
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Wife: It’s raining outside.
Husband: It isn’t. They’re playing storm sound effects.
Wife: I can see the street from here. It’s raining.
Husband: Why do you go out of your way to prove me wrong every single moment?
–Hilton Theatre Lobby
Elderly woman on stretcher: Is the ambulance heated?
Handlebar-mustached ambulance driver: Yes.
Elderly woman on stretcher: I’m gonna freeze to death.
Handlebar-mustached ambulance driver (smiling, tenderly): No, you’re gonna sweat to death.
–63rd b/w Park & Lexington
Overheard by: Paul Tabachneck
Guy #1: Yeah–it was great! They gave me all this stuff, three pairs of shoes and some shorts, just for showing up.
Guy #2: That’s great! When did you get out of the psych ward?
Guy #1: Just today!
–Stuyvesant Place, Staten Island
Teenage girl #1: I’m sure there’s at least one West African child that isn’t heavily inebriated!
Teenage girl #2: Ya, I knew one once, he was a really bad fuck.
–112th b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ema O’Connor
Girl to friend: (smiling) I am so happy to have gone to the spa!
Angry preacher passing by: (screaming) You are all going to hell!
Girl to friend: (no longer smiling) I didn’t need to hear that.
–Port Authority
Giant rasta to his dick: Man, I know one thing for sure, I ain’t needing no more to drink tonight! I’m trying to enjoy my night with you, Woody. Woody? Woody? You awake, Woody? Man, I needs me one of them diamond pills already?
Onlooker #1: Is he talking to his shit?
Onlooker #2: I’m sure as hell not Woody.
–The Coffee Shop, Union Square
Overheard by: Schreibz
Detective #1: Hurry up, we have a DOA!
Detective #2: Relax, it’s just a DOA. It’s not like somebody died.
–Upper Westside Police Precinct
Overheard by: BigCitySgt
