Women

Chick complaining about looking for roommates: The problem with today is that everybody’s Jewish.

–Dobbin & Norman

Overheard by: Sam Tresler

Young quasi-gangster to friends: Even if you’re not Jewish, you’re, like… Jewish.

–Post-Yankees game on B train

Overheard by: Indiana

Tourist chick: How, how, how can there be no Jewish deli? All I want is a tongue sandwich and a fucking piece of pizza!

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: X-tal

Lady suit: Are you saying you’d rather be with a Jewish person than a wife-beater?

–18th & 6th

Overheard by: emily

JAP: Shiksas are totally not allowed on Jdate!

–71st & Columbus

Overheard by: DebDan

Chick in stall to friend: It must be a Jewish thing, but whenever there’s food around I have to eat it — even if I’m not hungry.

–Restroom, Loews Cinema, 11th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Em

Queer: No, like, of course you’re not Jewish. I just wanted to check before I dissed the Jews.

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: hilla

Man, while snatching last seat on train: Sorry lady, I got a broken foot.
Lady: So? I’ve got a broken heart.

–Uptown 6 train

Woman: I’m going to become such an eBay addict.
Friend: Yeah?
Woman: Well, maybe I should wait until I know if I got the job.

–43rd St & Lex

Overheard by: Beeeej

Old lady: Are you getting off at this stop?
Guy: The train hasn’t stopped yet.
Old lady: I know, but I want to be ready when it does.
Guy: Don’t worry, you’ll be ready.
Old lady: Yeah, but you’re a lot bigger than I am.
Guy: I’m not going to block the door.
Old lady: Yeah, but I’m carrying a lot heavier bags than you are.
Guy: You should get a cart.
Old lady: You should get a donkey!
Guy: A donkey? I’ll consider it.

–N Train approaching Queensboro Bridge

Overheard by: Laughing N Train

Lady carrying box: What brings you to the city?
British woman: We’re here looking at schools.
Lady carrying box: Well, are you concerned about electromagnetic fields?

–New Yorker Hotel elevator

Overheard by: Alyssa

Man: Excuse me, I noticed you were looking at the Times. Here, you can have mine. I don’t think I’ll get around to reading it today.
Woman, hugging man lovingly: Thank you.

–Astor Place station

Overheard by: reggae

Woman #1: No, fingering is third base. Blow jobs don’t have a base.
Woman #2: Wait. Blow jobs don’t have a base?
Woman #1: Nope. That’s how we roll in Jersey.

–F train platform, Jay St station

Woman: Can you tell me where the bus to Rochester is?
Information guy: Gate 63.
Woman: Thank you.
Information guy, after she walks away: Yeah, she wants me to lick her dirty pussy.

–Port Authority Bus Station

Overheard by: Andrew Dill

Woman #1: You know, everytime I go return a book, they make me pay money, I have no idea why.
Woman #2: Me too! Last time I paid two dollars.
Woman #1: I should stop going and just donate my money somewhere else.

–Flushing

Overheard by: why don’t you try returning them on time

Old lady #1: Oh, something is vibrating in my purse.
Old lady #2: Oooh, is it something handsome?

–New York Film Festival, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: I wiggle, not vibrate