Dude: He’s a big dude.
Lady: Even big dudes have sensitive nuts.
–Pace University
Dude: He’s a big dude.
Lady: Even big dudes have sensitive nuts.
–Pace University
Hairdresser: So, I’m dating this carpenter…
Client: Oooh, is he cute?
Hairdresser: It isn’t so much that he’s ‘cute’ as ‘willing to redo my basement if I go out with him.’
–Amsterdam & W 85th
Overheard by: umpazumparoo
Woman missing upper teeth: He was followin’ me down the street so I turned around and said, ‘Why are you followin’ me?’
Friend: Yeah.
Woman missing upper teeth: And he said, ‘I wasn’t followin’ you, I was followin’ your ass.’ So I said, ‘Then take my ass to the clothing store.’ And a month later, I moved in with him.
–Manhattan-bound N train
Overheard by: chris
Man: They’re the only animal that loves you!
Woman: Well, I don’t know about the only animal…
Man: Well, ravens. Ravens love you, too.
–Au Bon Pain, Port Authority
Overheard by: not minding my own business
Club promoter: Comedy tonight at the Improv!
Middle-aged woman: The real comedy is on the streets.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kevin Motel
Woman #1: No, they can’t do a sequel, it’d get boring. Snakes… in the Sauna!
Woman #2: Yeah, it has to be another animal… and a building.
— Bathroom, Regal Cinemas, Union Square
Overheard by: Elmo
Young woman: Hey, would you like to sign up and register to vote?
Man: No, thanks. I’m an illegal alien.
–Grand Concourse, the Bronx
Overheard by: BobbyD
40-something woman: Yeah, I liked that show St. Elsewhere, though.
Tween girl: Was that in a snowglobe?
–Ave A
Overheard by: Cracked Up
Man: I’ll give you 10 bucks if you can tell me what baseball team is popular in Philly.
Woman: Duh, it’s the Red Sox! …What? Boston is in Philly.
Man: Sweetie, Boston isn’t in Philly.
Woman: Don’t lie to me, you know how easy I fall for things!
Man: But Boston is in Massachusetts.
Woman: That’s what I said!
–E 23rd St & Lex
Overheard by: Lisa
Woman: See, now we’ve missed our train.
Little girl: Well it’s not my fault, it’s yours.
Woman: Of course, just like everything else.
Little girl: Especially global warming.
–ACE subway, W 4th
