Man #1: Yeah, so all comedians are Jewish. Jon Stewart, David Blaine–
Girl: He’s Jewish? God, I totally want to have sex with David Blaine.
Man #2: Do magicians count as comedians?
–B11 bus
Man #1: Yeah, so all comedians are Jewish. Jon Stewart, David Blaine–
Girl: He’s Jewish? God, I totally want to have sex with David Blaine.
Man #2: Do magicians count as comedians?
–B11 bus
Woman #1: God, that was so funny when all of those Nazis walked into the courtroom and their hairstyles were like Hitler’s!
Man: Well, I mean, it makes sense, I guess. You know, people always copy famous people when it comes to stuff like that.
Woman #2: Yeah, like remember when I had that terrible Dorothy Hamill haircut?
–Houston Street station
Tween girl: The thing most people don’t get about techno is, it’s so emotional.
–76th & 2nd
Overheard by: Rachel
Girl: Excuse me, do you have any biographies of TuPac?
Library guy: Probably, though they’d be with the other biographies on the second floor.
Dude: But isn’t this the fiction section?
Library guy: It is. You might be able to find some books about him in non-fiction.
Girl: “Non-fiction”?
Library guy: Non-fiction means true.
Dude: …And fiction means false.
Library guy: Sort of.
Girl: So if it’s in non-fiction then that means he must still be alive.
Library guy: I don’t think you understand.
–Brooklyn Public Library, Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: Matthew Sahd Mohammed
Security lady #1: I don’t think I never met an Amish person.
Security lady #2: Ain’t that Marie Osmond an Amish? Yeah, she’s an Amish person.
Security lady #1: If she’s Amish, why is she allowed to wear so much makeup? They can’t wear makeup, right?
–LaGuardia
Hipster guy #1: Oh my god, fuck the Strokes! I’m here for Eagles of Death Metal! Yeah! Ha, ha! Fuck, I love eagles but I hate death metal!
Hipster girl: Where’s Julian? Where’s Julian?
Hipster guy #2: Shut the fuck up guys, this lead singer’s fuckin’ Dave Grohl or some shit!
–Hammerstein Ballroom, West 34th Street
Girl: Was it wrong that I totally didn’t enjoy that at all?
Guy: Uh…
Girl: I mean it was like every song is exactly the same and they’re just a bunch of 6 1/2 foot tall guys in leather jackets.
–34th between 8th & 9th
Grandma: Who is that? What’s the commotion about?
Teen girl: It’s Paris Hilton.
Grandma: Who is that?
Teen girl: She’s a media blowjob, Nana. Let’s get a move on, we’re
late and Daddy’s waiting for us at the hotel.
–41st & 6th
Overheard by: Brian Otano
Guy on pay phone: Hey Tom, it’s Jerry.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Matthew Suss
Woman #1: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Amy Fisher?
Woman #2: No.
Woman #1: Well, you do. I mean what she did was wrong and all, but she was a beautiful woman, so are you.
–6 train
Chick: Are you Jon Lovitz?
Jon Lovitz: Jealous?
–Union Square
