Teen girl: I would like to. Notwithstanding, I–
Old lady: Never say “notwithstanding” in New York. Too long a word for here.
Teen girl: Why the heck…?
Old lady: Notwithstanding and two financial empires have already
collapsed! Where are you from, by the way?
Teen girl: Missoula, Montana.
Old lady: You’re making my point, darling!…So, Redford says “notwithstanding”? No kidding?
Teen girl: Robert lives in Utah.
–Trump Tower elevator, 56th & 5th
Overheard by: Bertrand Latour
Girl: Jesus, bitch, why you gotta be with that Verizon? They got no text message plan, I ain’t paying no ten dollars a month for no texting, you gotta go with Cingular, bitch, then you don’t gotta pay nothing and you get, like, what the fuck, a much bigger phone selection too and none of that extra charges bullshit, and–god, bitch, why you gotta talk so loud? We all don’t need to hear all about your life, so you still live with your ex-boyfriend, you think I care? Just no need for you to talk so loud, god!–So anyway, and Vonage, that shit is stupid, too. The hell kind of name is that anyway? Vahn-ahge…
–F train
Overheard by: Dormant Gorilla
Drunk guy: you’re not taking money out, you’re taking each other out!
Pair of fruitfucks!
–15th & 8th
A guy stands up and vomits in the middle of the restaurant.
Guy #2: Seriously…you might wanna rethink this All-You-Can-Drink Sunday buffet.
–Candela, East 16th Street
Guy: Hi, I need to go to Nutley, New Jersey. I know that the 192 bus goes, but–
Ticket woman: Don’t make yourself too comfortable, just ask.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: rafael
Guy: Don’t ever give up your dreams. This is New York. It’s not even about the numbers. I’ve come too far to give up my dreams. Don’t give up your dreams…So Canal Street is this way?
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Esther
Guy #1: I had sushi last week.
Guy #2: Isn’t that like raw fish?
Guy #1: Man, it’s so good you don’t even taste the raw fish.
Guy #2: Then you should just take the raw fish out.
–Hunter College East-West bridge
Guy: Stop being such a Debbie Downer.
Girl: Stop watching such shitty tv shows.
–Q train
Lady: A lot of people came off this train. Why aren’t you people moving in?
Guy: There’s a baby stroller in the back.
Lady: Well, they should move it. Move it over to the side!
Guy: Move a tiny infant baby? Everybody, look! This lady right here is the Antichrist! Move the baby? You the Antichrist!
–6 train
Teacher lady: What a deep, deep black!
Girl #1: Black like my soul.
Teacher lady: Maybe you should try pencil.
Girl #2: Wait what did you say?
Girl #1: It’s black like my soul.
Girl #2: You should get a kitty.
–Dominican Academy, East 68th Street
Overheard by: cemo
