Ahhh! Real New Yorkers

Young woman: Excuse me, is there any more room for you all to move in?

The passengers just laughed at her as the doors closed.

–A train, 86th St. station (The day after the fire)

Jersey tourist: It's so confusing that on the train first goes Newark Penn Station followed by New York Penn Station.
New Yorker: It's to weed out the weak.

–Mulberry Street

Little Boy, running towards pigeon on sidewalk: RAWWWWWR!
Mother: Sweetie, they’re not afraid here. This is New York.

–39th & 3rd

Overheard by: erin

Tourist girl [standing in middle of busy sidewalk]: Oh, excuse me! [spins around] Oh! [turns around] Omigod! Like, I just ran into like four people and I’m not even walking!
City guy: Try walking.
Tourist girl: What?
City guy [reluctantly drawn in]: Look, in New York most people aboveground get where they’re going by walking. The sidewalks are the main roads in the city.
Tourist girl: [blank stare] City guy [getting frustrated]: If you were driving on a busy road, you wouldn’t just stop or take random turns in traffic without checking your mirrors or signaling, right?
Tourist girl: How do I signal?

–43rd & Broadway

Budding New Yorker, watching two beefcakes rollerblade by in tiny black shorts and t-shirts: …See, like that. I don’t know if that’s straight or gay.

–Hudson River Park, 15th St

Overheard by: Sunday Morning Jogger

Manhattan girl: Ugh. Things are so slow in Brooklyn!
Manhattan boy: The bank is faster in Manhattan, stores are faster, everything is so much faster.
Manhattan girl: Right, they couldn't afford to be this slow.
Manhattan boy: Well, it's cuz the population here is less educated.

–Walgreens, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson

Hipster guy: Dude, he always blames it on the train dispatcher. He needs to own his problems, you know?

–F train

Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo

Teen boy: I like touching fat people.

–69th St & 5th Ave, Bay Ridge

Overheard by: Jon A.

Guy to friends: So I was on the subway the other day and I was counting some guys’ chins and I realized, I’m just not a nice person.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: CUMT

Large black woman on cell: Of course I’m loud, I’m fat!

–25th & 8th

Overheard by: Beckerman

Chick to guy: I’m thinking of keeping it, as an excuse to get fat.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Ladle

30-something with heavy NYC accent: Ya know, if I had to do high school all over again, I woulda fucked a fat chick. I wouldna cared so much.

–34th & 5th

Man yelling on cell: I would be so much better at Jeopardy then her! Her fat Indian hands can’t hit the button as fast as I can!

–35rd St & 5th Ave

Female house manager: He comes over and he’s like: "What are you doing?" and I said: "My job." and he goes: "You’re fat."

–Theater, St Mark’s Place

Overheard by: Mariah

Chick with headset directing sidewalk traffic: Excuse me. Please cross the street here… You can’t pass here…
20-ish chick: What are you guys filming?
Chick with headset: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2.
20-ish chick: Hahaha! That shit sucks! Hahaha!

–E 8th St & University Pl

Suit on cell: It's not that I don't like people, I just think that they're expendable.

–Union Square Cafe

20-something to visiting family: We are about to go up a bunch of stairs. If you complain, you will be pushed back down them.

–Mulberry & Canal

Laughing suit to others: So, yeah, I just stepped over the body.

–42nd St & 5th Ave

Mother to small crying child: Honey, I did listen to you, but I can't make myself care.

–V Train

Overheard by: Hunter