Man #1: Someone took a shit in the sink.
Man #2: It happens. This is New York.
–Men’s Room, Port Authority
Man #1: Someone took a shit in the sink.
Man #2: It happens. This is New York.
–Men’s Room, Port Authority
20-something chick #1: … So was she, like, dating that married guy?
20-something chick #2: No! Man, you can’t date a married guy, he’s married! You can only fuck a married guy.
Lady with kids: Do you mind?!
20-something chick #2: If you don’t want your kids to hear about fucking married men, then don’t raise them in New York!
–34th & Madison
Overheard by: I hate kids too…
Receptionist: Hi, I'm calling from Bridgehampton, New York and would like to invite to a gallery event we are having in Southampton this weekend.
New York woman: Oh… is that in the Hamptons?
Receptionist: Why, yes, it is.
New York woman: Well… we don't go to that shithole anymore! (hangs up)
Receptionist: Thank you for you time.
–Publication Office
Woman walking against massive subway crowd: Woah, this is fun. Hey, everybody!
Man, after passing her: Fuck you, lady.
–Lorimer Stop
Overheard by: richhorner.com
Southern tourist: Is this Roosevelt Island?
NY woman: No, this is Roosevelt Avenue, in Queens.
Southern tourist: What? So it is Roosevelt Island?
NY woman: No, I said it is not Roosevelt Island. This is the Roosevelt Avenue stop. You are in Queens.
Southern tourist: I don’t understand, am I on Roosevelt Island?
Suit: Ma’am, you are in Queens right now, specifically, Roosevelt Avenue. Roosevelt Avenue is not the same as Roosevelt Island. If you want to be at Roosevelt Island, you have to take the train going in the other direction about three stops. Either way, get off the damn train and quit delaying the rest of us.
Southern tourist: Why won’t anybody answer my question?
NY woman: You know what? This is Roosevelt Island, we’re all wrong. Get off.
Southern tourist: Was that so hard?
–Roosevelt Avenue stop, F train
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
Haughty woman: It’s just fabric! Why do you have to pay $16 million for fabric?
–The Gates
Asian guy: So what’s the deal with these orange flags? Do they take them all down and put them up again every year? That’s dumb.
–The Gates
Overheard by: Nick
Man: Hey! It’s so great to run into you! I haven’t heard from you in so long!
Woman: Yeah, that’s because you didn’t call me after we slept together.
–50th between 5th & 6th
Tourist, tapping man on shoulder: Excuse me sir, would you mind pointing me to the Empire State Building, please?
Man, pointing at the sky: See that building? The shiny big one, with all the pretty lights? Walk straight towards it.
Tourist: Thank you, my good man!
–Downing St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Emma
Guy: Do you know that you have a cup of coffee on your roof?
Driver guy: Merry Christmas from Starbucks!
–Park Place & Church
Overheard by: Dirt “Chainsaw” Dog
Lady #1: Can you move?
Lady #2: I ain’t movin’ my cart! You shoulda waited for the next fucking train!
Lady #1: What? Do you care more about people or your cart?
Lady #2: Ma cart, bitch!
Lady #1: …No, you are the bitch!
Lady #2: That’s right, you da bitch!
Lady #1: This is my first train ride, this is fun!…And I learned a new word!
Man: Happy holidays, everyone!
–1 train
Woman #1: So she says, “I don’t want to celebrate Christmas.”
Woman #2: What, she worships the Devil now?
Woman #1: Yeah, I think so.
-Surprise Surprise, 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Kat
Southern tourist woman to waitress: You don't take credit cards? Where are we?
Drunk New Yorker at other table: You're at JG Melon!
(table cheers)
–74th & 3rd
