Crazy man: Why you gotta stick your dick in a man? How can you be a Latin King and stick your dick in a man?
–6 train
Overheard by: Dirt “Chainsaw” Dog
Crazy man: Why you gotta stick your dick in a man? How can you be a Latin King and stick your dick in a man?
–6 train
Overheard by: Dirt “Chainsaw” Dog
Teen girl #1: He never leaves me the hell alone. It’s like, ‘Hello, I don’t care!’
Teen girl #2: You know he’s bi, right?
Teen girl #1: What? No, he’s not. What are you talking about?
Teen girl #2: Oh my god! You didn’t know? Yeah, he’s bi!
Teen girl #1: Since when? Who told you that?
Teen girl #2: Didn’t you?
Teen girl #1: No. I didn’t say ‘bi.’ I said ‘anal plugs.’
–Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Stina
Bimbette: I don't think I've ever been that grossed out during the day. It all started when that woman smelled like pee…
–6 Train
Overheard by: j
Female suit: We were above an Indian restaurant and he was banging me from behind. I could smell the curry, and while he was banging me I was gagging.
–NJ Transit
Chick: You smell like vag and pizza.
–Borders
Girl to friend, after bending head down into her: Damn my puss stank.
–E Train
Overheard by: Nicole
College guy (screaming at friend): Dude! How are you even in college?! You smell like Oust! You smell like Tropical Glade!
–1 Train
Concerned hipster: I know you just orgasmed, but what's that smell?
–E 9th & 3rd
Overheard by: Peanut
Suit: I’m always really careful when I eat so I don’t have to take it up the ass when I go to the dry cleaner.
–Organic Grill, 1st Avenue
Man: I’m telling you, what you should do is take a picture of yourself naked now and then in about two, three months, take another one and compare. Maybe keep doing that, you know? Keep a photo album documenting it. I think you should.
–F train
Overheard by: Jenni Unicorn
Man on cell: Okay, I gotta go ’cause I’m fucking sweating my dick off.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Kevin Kilroy
College guy: Have you ever jacked off with your feet?
–TKTS, Duffy Square
Guy on cell: I have a blood clot in my asshole!
–15th & 3rd
Woman: He’s a good friend, but the sex is pretty awful. He a good kisser, but he has trouble further than that. I’m just not his type. I don’t have a penis.
–West 4th Street station
Overheard by: Rachel Adler
Puerto Rican guy: Second-best feeling in the world. First is sex. I
guarantee it.
–Barnes & Noble men’s room, Union Square
Guy #1: You know that video with the guys and the elephants with the butt sex?
Guy #2: Yeah, that must hurt. What about the one with the black guys?
Guy #1: Oh, the one with the BJs?
(later)
Guy #2: When I was younger I used to masturbate with my friend. We would put a pillow between us and jack off.
–B1 Bus
Dramasexual #1: Well, at least he’s clean.
Dramasexual #2: …robots are clean.
–NYU Education Building, W. 4th Street
Guy to friends: My goal in life is to get as many dicks in my ass as possible.
Random girl: Mine too!
–Canal St
20-something chick: I still think the dog toy looks like a butt plug.
20-something guy: If there is such a thing.
20-something chick, with shocked face: Are you serious? Yes, there are butt plugs.
20-something guy: For what?
20-something chick: For people.
20-something guy: For *what*?
20-something chick: Nevermind.
20-something guy: No! Tell me! For *what*?
–Dallas BBQ, Chelsea
Overheard by: Saaaandwich?
Drunk girl #1: Oh my God I so know what you are talking about! Wait, you guys were talking about anal sex right?
Drunk girl #2: Uh no, we stopped talking about guys ten minutes ago.
–Red Sky, E. 29th Street
Ten-year-old wannabe thug: I'ma put this can of pepper spray up your ass! You want me to put this up your ass?!
–Old Navy, Harlem
Worried bearded 50-something: Yeah, but how are we going to film an anal birth!?
–F Train
Street vendor selling his wares: I will shove your foot up the devil's ass!
–St Mark's Place
Yankee stadium employee yelling to another: Hey, wouldja bend over for a minute? I'll be right back!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: torrie
Gay teen: His hole was as big as a traffic cone!
–1st & 14th
Sinfully ugly girl: I have to stop putting things in my ass.
–forever 21 (queens center mall)
Overheard by: defragment my harddrive
