Nine-year-old blonde: I’m not pretty.
Nine-year-old brunette: Yes, you are. You’re super pretty!
Nine-year-old blonde: I’m not pretty enough. I’m not Paris Hilton-pretty.
–Hudson & Perry
Overheard by: Talia
Nine-year-old blonde: I’m not pretty.
Nine-year-old brunette: Yes, you are. You’re super pretty!
Nine-year-old blonde: I’m not pretty enough. I’m not Paris Hilton-pretty.
–Hudson & Perry
Overheard by: Talia
Dude: You really don’t look much like your picture.
Girl: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude: I’m still deciding.
–W 3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: jor
Teen girl #1: I hate riding in her car.
Teen girl #2: I know! It smells like dog, and then you look like dog.
–Bushwick
Overheard by: -|
Eager, straight-ish hipster dude to posse: We could ask gay guys which one of us they think is cuter…
Cute hipster friend: No, I always win that game.
–Pyramid, Ave A, between 6th & 7th St
Overheard by: Dan
Doctor #1, about Norah Jones: Did you know her father is Ravi Shankar?
Doctor #2: Her mother must be extremely good-looking.
–Doctors’ lounge, St. Vincent’s Hospital
Overheard by: Danny D
Headline by: s h
Runners-Up:
· “And we know why she didn’t come.” – Offbalance
· “Nip, Tuck, or Genetic Luck?” – Iconny
· “Or Maybe It’s Just that When You Multiply a Negative by a Negative, You End Up With a Positive” – Vasyl
· “Sex and the Sitar” – nicky c
· “The Good, the Bad, and the Ravi” – Riley
Rider #1: Damn, this bike seat is uncomfortable.
Rider #2: Damn, that VS model is hot.
Rider #1: Shit, my yoddle feels like it’s skewered like a lamb chop.
Rider #2: I wonder if she’ll agree to be my next wife…
–42nd & 6th
Chick: She has low self-esteem.
Dude: She should. She’s mad ugly.
Chick: I’ve known people who are ugly but really beautiful.
Dude: No.
Chick: No, really! I’ve seen ugly men with beautiful women and ugly women with handsome men.
Dude: I’m dumb-shallow. If you don’t look good, you can’t be my friend.
Chick: But you’re judging people. Like God.
Dude: Fuck that. I pay my own rent. I don’t need anybody. I’m straight, but all my guy friends look good. If you’re ugly, you can’t be my friend. I’m dumb-shallow. [A few minutes later] Yo, if someone says I don’t look good, somethin’s wrong with them or their eyes, ’cause I look good.
–4 train, rush hour
Overheard by: Veej
WASP #1: You look so tan!
WASP #2: Oh, no, it’s actually just high blood pressure.
WASP #3: Well, it sure suits you!
–Armory Show
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Woman, about Kate Moss photo: At the time they don’t think that you’re on drugs, they just think that you’re beautiful.
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: Harried Visitor
Old woman to another: He had a beautiful, beautiful body, a handsome face, and a big old dick that would just kill ya!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: rita
Perfume seller: Designer perfume! Five dollars. Only five dollars. Discounts for pretty ladies. [Looks at lady passerby] For you… $4.99.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Renea
Guy to chick with him: I’d hold your hand, but my heart hates uggoes.
–67th & 1st
Girl watching two hot Mormon guys walk by: I think it evens out. I have actually seen ugly Mormons.
–Flatbush & 5th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: stephanie k
Dude: Yeah, she’s not ugly, but she’s definitely not pretty. But she wants me to set her up with one of my friends. I told her that they’re all either married or ugly, but then I realized I should set her up with one of the uglies because it’ll help her self esteem.
–Rangers Game, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Veronica
Hoochie: I mean, he’s not the ugliest guy I’ve made out with. I made out with a guy who looked like Alf.
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Tater Tot
Old guy: I’m a good judge of character. That’s why I never talk to her. That and because she’s got a face like a foot. I never talk to ugly people.
–Viacom elevator, 1515 Broadway
