Body Parts

Suit #1: Man, my wrists are still sore from those handcuffs.
Suit #2: Yeah, that was funny when they took you out of the building like that. (they laugh)

–42nd & 6th Ave

Woman #1: When we got off the cruise we had to adapt to having land legs.
Woman #2: Well, sea legs is probably our natural state, from way back.

–100th & Broadway

Chick #1: Give me your hand!
Chick #2: Give me your nipple!
Chick #1: Give me your hand!
Chick #2: Give me your nipple!

–Mott & Spring

Overheard by: Wondering what she wants the nipple for…

College chick #1: It can’t be a muscle. It’s not a bicep.
College chick #2: Yeah, but the heart is a muscle, and the heart is an organ. It’s both.
College dude: It’s an organ. That’s why people always say, ‘He put his organ in her.’ [Passerby turns to look at them] See, that’s why I didn’t want to talk about this.

–50th St & Lex

Overheard by: Ben

Girl, during auction for Haiti: I want to motorboat Susan Sarandon. Can I bid on that?
Guy: I don't see why not. It's pretty much like a handshake, except between your face and her tits.

–SPIN NY

Extreme sports guy #1: I broke my leg last summer.
Extreme sports guy #2: Dude, I broke my leg once. I broke both bones in both wrists this one time.
Extreme sports guy #1: What, were you snowboarding or something?
Extreme sports guy #2: No, I fell off the monkey bars. I was in the third grade.

–L Train

Russian girl: Yo, this tip is crooked.
Asian nail tech: It not crooked, you Russian girls always complaining.
Russian girl: Stupid gook!
Asian nail tech: Oh, at least you get slur right! Everyone always “Chink! Chink!” I'm fucking Korean!

–Asian Nail Salon, 86th St

Man: That banana is huge!
Girl: Yeah, I know.
Man: It must have been on steroids.
Girl: No, if it were on steroids, it would have been much, much smaller.

–Deli, 14th & 8th

Overheard by: Tony from Brooklyn

Indian snack counter vendor: What's that on your head, man?
Security guard with ash cross on head, in thick New York accent: It's ash Wednesday.
Indian snack counter vendor, snickering: Okay.
Security guard: Hey, I don't laugh at you guys when you put dots on your heads. You gotta respect other people's beliefs.

–9th St & Broadway

Overheard by: The Chocolate Muffin Sucked

Hyperactive seven-year-old: Mom! Let me lick your ear! Come here, let me suck it!
Disgusted mother: Boy, I ain't your girl!

–2 Train