Street salesman: Come over, buy yourself a belt. If you got a big butt, buy two belts.
–Brooklyn Heights
Street salesman: Come over, buy yourself a belt. If you got a big butt, buy two belts.
–Brooklyn Heights
Indian girl, speaking on her cell-phone: Jewish people don’t speak English, and they’re great businessmen. Chinese people don’t speak English, and they’re great businessmen. So you don’t have to speak English either to be a great businessman!
— Penn Station
Teen tourist: How much for the sunglasses?
Vendor: Thirty dollars.
Teen tourist: In Chinatown?!
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Ozzy
Bus-driver in Vancouver: “The BC government recently did a study about fraud on the bus system, and the company they hired concluded that 3% of the riders take advantage of the system. But driving this bus every day, I see that it is really 30-40%. The newspapers say that Canadians are so good but it’s not true!”
Promoter guy: Stand-up comedy! Are you interested in seeing some stand-up comedy tonight? Hey, I’m asking you a question.
Dude: Oh, no thanks.
Promoter guy: Oh, well, we also have stand-up misery.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Adam Robbins
Girl #1: I don’t know what kind of atmosphere! I just want something professional and sophisticated.
Girl #2: “Professional” and “sophisticated”. Excuse me while I go smoke an L in an alley behind the stock exchange.
–14th & 9th
Black guy: I just really don’t wanna go to prison in Africa.
White guy: Of course. And, if at any time you feel like that might be a possibility, the operation comes to a close. I value you and your sweet virgin ass and unslit throat over some cheap pot.
Black guy: That’s how I know you’re a real friend.
–Parking lot, LaGuardia
Overheard by: slightly confused
Kid, looking at $0.25 soda: Man! These be $0.50 in Queens!
Dad: Yeah, that’s why you gotta come to the Boogie Down Bronx.
–Deli, Taylor Ave
Overheard by: vegannramember
Trendy girl: I mean, I like her as a person, I just don’t like what she does with my hair.
–Max, Ave. B
Guy on cell: Listen man, he’s Trump. We can put his name on anything and they’ll buy it. Put his fucking face on a fucking bottle of water and they’ll fucking buy it!
–28th St. and Park Avenue
Overheard by: G Varod
Woman on cell: There’s only one word for this party. And it is “epic.”
–CPW and 110th St.
Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I’m just kidding.
–Midtown Office
