Fair Enough.

Driver being diverted past blockaded street: What's going on here?
Cop diverting traffic: What's going on? It's New York freaking City! That's what's going on! Move along!

–9th Ave & 20th St

Overheard by: Mighty Spatula

Posted on May 8, 2015
Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Conductors, Cops, Only in New York

…Don't You Think?

Friend #1: Oh! We should all ride our bikes to Red Hook, check out the ball field, get Swedish meatballs at Ikea and hang out at the flea market.
Friend #2:: I… can't… do that.
Friend #1: Why? Oh, do you not own a bike?
Friend #2: No, I don't. And… I also don't know how to ride a bike.
Friend #1: What? And you live in Williamsburg?
Friend #3: Hey, it's ironic.

–South Street Seaport

Posted on May 3, 2015
Cars and Driving, Ethnic Food, Friends, Questions, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Your Wednesday Has Turned on the “One-Liners” Sign

Male flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, JetBlue welcomes you to the city which all other cities are reflections of… welcome to New York.

–JFK

Overheard by: SJK

Pilot over loudspeaker: Alright folks, get into your seats quickly. You don't have to love the person next to you and this ain't a furniture store.

–JFK

Overheard by: Allie

Witty flight attendant: And in case that you have not been in a car since 1962, I will now demonstrate how seatbelts work.

–JFK

Flaming flight attendant: In the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you. If this should occur, you may scream, then place the mask over your mouth and nose…

–JFK

JetBlue pilot: I hope you all enjoyed the flight. If you have any questions, please e-mail them to the Continental Airlines e-mail. Thank you for flying JetBlue.

–JFK

Overheard by: lonely passenger

Posted on April 25, 2015
Advice, Airports, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Flight Attendants, Internet, JFK Airport, Love, One-liners, Only in New York, Passengers, Pilots, Questions, Stupidity, Travel, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

…I Was Flashing Him the Whole Time!

Girl #1: Oh my god! Did you see that? He flipped me off!
Girl #2: Well, duh! You ran in front of his car.
Girl #1: So?

–Union Square

Overheard by: sam

Posted on April 10, 2015
Cars and Driving, Girls, Insults, Union Square and East Village

Oh Honey, I Am My Girlfriend

Teenage Guido in Guidomobile, to friend: Hey, it looks like a sports car… But it's a Beetle!
Gay guy in bright blue Beetle: Well, your car probably goes faster, but this is a lot of fun to drive.
(pause while gears grind teenage Guido's brain)
Teenage Guido: Is that your girlfriend's car?

–4th Ave & Pacific St

Posted on April 9, 2015
Brooklyn, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Guidos, Queer guys, Questions, Teens

And a Nazi Wouldn’t Hail a Cab Of Color

Little tourist boy: Mommy! Look, that lady is a Nazi!
Frazzled tourist mom: What? Oh… Honey, that nice lady is hailing a cab, not Hitler.

–Bowery

Posted on April 7, 2015
Boys, Cars and Driving, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, Parents, Tourists, Union Square and East Village

That Would Be the Cherry on My Sundae

[Thuggish teen prances in front of taxi.]Cabbie: Are you really that poor that you need to walk and get hit by my cab for money?!
Thuggish teen, walking to taxi window: Thats what I do! Mmmhmmm [Eats ice cream slowly at car window.]

–10th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Melissa Anne