Little girl: Are we going to Manhattan to the big shopping mall place?
Dad: You’ve spent enough money. We’re going to Manhattan and riding in a cab!
–Amtrak to Penn Station
Overheard by: Erica
Little girl: Are we going to Manhattan to the big shopping mall place?
Dad: You’ve spent enough money. We’re going to Manhattan and riding in a cab!
–Amtrak to Penn Station
Overheard by: Erica
Girl to mother: I always get freaked out when I see trucks carrying poles, I think they're going to impale me.
Mother: Well, it's good to be aware of that, it does happen. You never know when you're going to have to save your own life!
–Delancey St
Overheard by: Janelle
Flagman: Hey man, why you drivin’ over my orange cones?
SUV guy: I need to turn here.
Flagman: You can’t; street’s closed! There’s a big ass crane coming down! See it?…What are you doing? You see that big ass crane? Why you rolling over my cones? It’s dangerous. Street’s closed!
SUV guy: I need to turn here and go down this street!
Flagman: You see that big ass crane? You wanna play chicken with that? Go one block down and come back on the other side. Take you five minutes.
SUV guy: But I need to turn here and go down this street! You can’t block a street in New York, asshole!
Flagman: It’s dangerous. Street’s closed! Back up or get outta the damned truck. What’s the matter with you? Get out of the damned car!
SUV guy: Damn it! Asshole.
Flagman: Damn! He rolled over my cones…Fuckin’ Mercedes driver! Anybody else wanna play chicken with that big ass crane?
–48th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kevin W. Eaches
Charity mugger: Hey! My name’s Lisa and I’d like to talk to you about donating to North Shore Animal League–
Guy: Let me be honest, Lisa. I work in customer service. That means for 8 hours a day, I have to be polite to everyone I speak with and this is my lunch hour. It’s the one hour of my day where I’m not forced to be nice. I’m sure you’re a nice girl, but why don’t you fuck off?
–Broadway & Pine
Overheard by: Mr. X-mas Tree
Hobo: You mean to tell me no one else on this goddamn train has anything else to eat? I hope you all choke on your Christmas dinners!
–C train
Overheard by: MissHell
Ghetto-fabulous girl standing at crosswalk while cars whiz by: Why ain't we crossin'?
(friend points to cars)
Girl: Oh.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
Accented woman: What is driving, just “left, right, and straight”? What is so hard bout that?
Friend: And backing up.
Together: And backing up.
–A Train
Overheard by: Rick
Angry hipster girl, crossing intersection diagonally: Fuck them! I have the fucking right of way!
Hipster boyfriend: No, you don't! You just walked through the middle of an intersection!
Angry hipster girl: I don't fucking care, I still have the fucking right of way!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Phillip
Little old lady to little old hubby: Fuck you, Dick, I am not crossing against the light! I can’t do it. Fuck you!
–Houston & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Almost peed on myself from laughing
Little tourist to mom: We are jaywalking, yay!
–Outside Sak’s
Overheard by: also jaywalking
Guy on cell: … So it’s fucked up, nights in the city. Everyone jaywalks, and they all wear black… Shit, good point! Blacks! … Yeah, you get a black guy wearing black, jaywalking — that’s a perfect storm of trouble! … I dunno, but I bet it has something to do with why insurance is so high…
–Broadway & Bleecker
Two guys cross street on ‘Don’t walk’ signal as car is coming.
Traffic cop: Hit ’em! Hit ’em!
–35th & 5th
Overheard by: mike
Loud grandma tourist blocking crosswalk: What’s the matter with these people?! Why are they crossing the street? Can’t they see the ‘No crossing’ sign? Where do they think they’re going?
–Times Square
Tourist woman to crowd of pedestrians: No, don’t cross! Here comes the big red hand!
–51st & 5th
Overheard by: Micaela
Kid, in stroller: What's that?
Mom: A plumber truck.
Kid: A plumber truck?
Mom: Uh-huh.
Kid: I wanna be a plumber truck!
–7th & Atlantic, Brooklyn
Overheard by: concerned for the future
Suit #1: …so he’s got one hand on the car’s aerial, and with the other hand he’s punching a four inch by eight inch dent in the car, while running alongside. At this point it becomes destruction of property.
Suit #2: And that’s when the campus police got involved?
–52nd & 6th
Overheard by: Meredith
Suit to suit friend: That's so nice of her, to pick you up at one in the morning. You just asked her to come get you?
Suit friend: Yeah, I called her and I was like “hey, babe can you come get me? I got out of work late. Just wake the baby and bring him in the car.” Twenty minutes later she was there. With divorce papers she had been working on.
Suit: Well, at least she picked you up, bro.
Suit friend: Very true.
–12th & 5th
Overheard by: Sarah
