Little girl: Guess what I’m wearing?
Mom’s friend: What?
Little girl: Underwear!
–Bagel Boys
Little girl: Guess what I’m wearing?
Mom’s friend: What?
Little girl: Underwear!
–Bagel Boys
Skinny chick: Was there scaffolding on his building?
Fat chick: Yeah, don’t you remember? I climbed it in my Catwoman costume on Halloween.
–Greenwich & 6th
Overheard by: tj
Black girl #1: … And you know white girls don’t wear no panties!
Black girl #2: I don’t wear panties either… I mean, I do when I go out, but when I’m at home my labias be swingin’.
–TGIFridays, 34th St
Overheard by: sad to say i was sitting near them
Girl wearing cargo capris: Do I look like a lesbian in these pants?
Stranger girl: Yeah, why?
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Hal
Bimbette #1: Oh my god, this is a shirt? I thought it was a dress!
Bimbette #2: And that’s because you’re a slut.
Bimbette #1: No, seriously, I could rock this as a dress.
Bimbette #2: Here we go again.
–42nd & Lex
Overheard by:
50-ish woman: … And the chaps covered his front, but his whole backside was out for the world to see.
20-ish woman: Oooh!
50-ish woman: No, honey. There was no ‘Oooh’ about it.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: AdHoculi
Girl: Don’t you feel bad?
Guy: About what?
Girl: For one, you’re in your girlfriend’s jeans, her jacket, her flats, and her fucking pearls. And second…
Guy: And second what?
Girl: You got fucked by three different guys in the two days she’s been out of town.
Guy: If I suck so much, why the fuck are we friends?
Girl: ‘Cause when she is out of town, I have my own little gay Barbie doll and fashion expert all in one. And it’s your turn to buy the manicures.
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: Julie
Woman #1: You aren’t wearing stockings?
Woman #2: I would have a serious problem putting on lotion if I was.
Woman #1: Wow, you have a real tight ass. I could have sworn you were wearing stockings when I was patting down your ass this morning.
–LIRR
Drunk Brit with arm around ugly lady: Oh, Jesus, just walking is making me horny.
–10th & 2nd
Overheard by: emilia
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Your hair is making me horny.
–B train
Overheard by: Janelle
Guy in hoodie: I don’t know — rain gear just doesn’t really turn me on.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ktg
Loud woman: According to recent research, a nine-month-old fetus can experience an erection.
–Bus to Staten Island
Chick on cell: … And he was, like, rubbing his erection on me, and I was like, ‘Dude, you’re rubbing your erection on me…’
–Fordham University
Lady: What are horny men doing at Build-a-Bear, anyway?
–40th & 5th
Overheard by: don’t wanna know
