Guy #1: Dude. Don’t hold my hand; that is so gay.
Guy #2: Ok, so I can suck your dick, but not hold your hand?
–Outside Down The Hatch, 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Romany
Guy #1: Dude. Don’t hold my hand; that is so gay.
Guy #2: Ok, so I can suck your dick, but not hold your hand?
–Outside Down The Hatch, 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Romany
Customer: Look, see, there’s two scratches right there.
Optician: Those two? OK, now you’re being picky.
Customer: Picky?! I’m sorry that I set my expectations above your ability to provide me with scratch-resistant lenses without scratches in them.
–Eyes on the Slope, Park Slope
Overheard by: Hmm..maybe Lens Crafters
Nerd #1, right before exam: You’re making me sweat! And not in a sexual way!
Nerd #2: Then I’m not interested.
–NYU
Woman moving through train: Not a gentleman.
Man: When you start acting like a lady, I'll start acting like a man.
–L Train
Overheard by: jau522
Older black man (squinting at the map through bifocals): Boy, this train doesn't even *go* to Franklin Street.
Younger black man: Give me my glasses, sit down, and shut the hell up! If you were in charge, we'd be on a 5 train and lost!
–2 Train
Overheard by: 2littlewings
Girl #1: My shit is green.
Girl #2: That’s cuz you’re a vegan!
Girl #1: Bitch, I shit money!
–Central Park
Guy #1 about four tiny, yappy poodles: Why they so loud?!
Guy #2: Yo, they got a Napoleon complex. Why you think you a thug?
–Eastern Pkwy & Underhill St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Michael O’Brien
Drunk girl: Ummm, we were out and your penis was a topic of conversation.
Sober friend: Oh, yeah?
Drunk girl: Yeah, we think it’s big.
Sober friend: Well, it has some good references. I’ll have him send you a resumé.
–St. Mark’s & 2nd
Overheard by: Morgan SO fetch
Observant girl, pointing at something on the sidewalk: Is that an animal?
Downright perceptive guy: No. That’s a pair of pants.
–1st & 1st
Overheard by: Peter Horan
Italian dude: So, are you interested in men?
Coffee house chick: I’m only interested in alternative lifestyle karaoke characters.
–Waltz-Astoria, 24th St & Ditmars Blvd
