Drunk guy: They are like made for each other!
Drunk girl: Oh my god! I know! And not even because they both smoke cigarettes and are like, gangster!
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: saywhaaat
Drunk guy: They are like made for each other!
Drunk girl: Oh my god! I know! And not even because they both smoke cigarettes and are like, gangster!
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: saywhaaat
Black guy in suit to stranger at same table: Oh, so you're married! I'm so sorry, I didn't realize.
White guy in suit: Oh, no worries, it doesn't mean I'm dead or anything.
Black suit: Are you faithful?
White suit (pausing for a couple of seconds): Sometimes.
–Starbucks, 23rd & 8th
Overheard by: Joe
Blonde #1: Oh my god, how was your date last night?
Blonde #2: Like oh my god, we hooked up!
Blonde #1: Really?
Blonde #2: Like we totally hooked up…well, we didn't like hook up, hook up, but we definitely like hooked up!
Blonde #1 (in awe): Like oh my god, you're so lucky.
–Q17 Bus
Overheard by: My IQ lowered listening to this…
Girl: Rodney, don't make fun of us because we're short! It's funny–when I sit down, I'm taller than him. (gestures to other short friend)
Rodney: You get two feet taller with your ass.
–1 Train
Hipster girl to smoking boyfriend: You shouldn't smoke. Smoking's bad for you.
Boyfriend: You smoke.
Hipster girl: Yeah, but I'm a film major and you're pre-med.
–NYU
Overheard by: good point?
Girl with crazy hair: It would be freaking magnificent if your cats stopped chowing down my precious toilet paper every morning.
Huge bald man: What are you, drunk? I paid for it.
Girl with crazy hair: Not important. Had to use the emergency roll and it was like rubbing porcupines on my twat.
Huge bald man: Sandpaper, maybe. Porcupines, not so much.
–Washington St & Charles St
Skater #1: A Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart ticket would totally win the presidency, on popularity alone.
Skater #2: Jon Stewart is really smart… He's like as smart as…he's as smart as me.
–N Train
Guy: Want to come back to my place?
Girl: I thought you had a girlfriend.
Guy: I told you, I just haven't broken up with her yet!
Girl: Fine, but you still have a girlfriend.
Guy: Fuck that. I still have a girlfriend only in the same sense that Bush is still President.
–Blue & Gold
Overheard by: true…
Girl: Dude, good think Thom Yorke is a great musician, because that guy looks like my dog's ass.
Guy: If your dog's ass looks like Thom Yorke, I suggest you put that dog up for sale.
Girl: I would never sell my dog!
Guy: I would sell my dog on eBay in a heartbeat.
Girl: You can't sell animals on eBay.
Guy: I would sell my dog's leash and throw in the dog for free.
–Fordham Ram Van
Overheard by: sromeo
JAP #1: Oh my god, did you hear about what Aaron wrote on Brittany's Facebook wall?
JAP #2: Oh my god, yeah, that's like, disgusting. Like, she looks like a fucking koala.
JAP #1: Totally. Like, who wants to date a tree climbing marsupial?
JAP #2: Fuck no! I'd rather kill my brother!
–Saks Fifth Avenue
