Preppy girl with Starbucks cup: That was some shitty-ass coffee.
Preppy guy: Speaking of shitty, Cap’n Nemo’s got nothin’ on me. I shat a white whale in there. It was two feet long and, I’m tellin’ you, it was white! Like, white and one solid length! Took it first try, though. They have good toilets.
–PATH, Christopher St station
Overheard by: Zenana
Crazy-haired woman: There’s lots of elderly people around here.
Lady: Well, it’s life.
Crazy-haired woman: Yes, but specifically in the San Fernando Valley.
Lady: Mmm-hmmm.
Crazy-haired woman: Where are you from?
Lady: New York.
Crazy-haired woman: You must be Jewish or Italian — which?
Lady: I’m Jewish.
Crazy-haired woman: Oh, the best people and the best meat.
Lady: Excuse me?
Crazy-haired woman: The Jews — they’re the best people and the best meat.
–Pharmacy
Big latina: I want to get to the gym more often.
Bigger latina: Yeah, I need to get around to that, too.
Big latina: The problem is, though, my man tells me he don’t want to go to the gym. He said he likes my weight right now and I shouldn’t lose any.
Bigger latina: He right.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Queens
Jewish guy #1: See if you can buy that broken cookie for a good deal.
Jewish guy #1 and #2 at same time: Fifty cents, yeah!
Jewish guy #3: That’s why we run the world.
All three: Yeah!
–Starbucks, 60th & 1st Ave
Overheard by: jeremy
Blonde chick on cell: Did you hear? She joined the Army! Isn’t that cute?
–Ave A & 9th St
Overheard by: Hannah
Mommy wannabe: You are so cute it’s retarded! It’s retarded how cute you are! Seriously!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: A White Bear
Tourist guy: Oh, that’s cute. All the benches are donated.
–Central Park
Overheard by: sarah
Guy: She’s just your standard-issue cute girl. There are a million of ’em in the city. There are probably a hundred just on this train!
–6 train
Thug on cell: Did they go up her butt? Then they ain’t cute. Only if they on you…
–Broadway & 12th
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Blonde teen: You are sooo cute when you’re drunk!
–Bridle Path, Central Park
Overheard by: if walls had ears
Pundit: The word ‘cute’ doesn’t do the men in here justice… Ha, ha. I made a funny!
–Queens County Civil Courthouse
Girl #1: So, he told me that I had the prettiest pussy he had ever seen.
Girl #2: Ew! What did you say?
Girl #1: I said, ‘Thank you.’ My mother told me to always take a compliment gracefully.
–Prince & Broadway
Chick: So how was the baby shower?
Guy: It was nice. My mother decorated it — there were hanging diapers everywhere and shit. It was cute.
–N train
Overheard by: tanechka
Girl #1: That’s a cute dog, I have one too.
Girl #2: Thank you.
Girl #1: Is that a toy terrier?
Girl #2: I don’t know. I just know he’s cute.
–Broadway & Spring St
Overheard by: Holden
Pregnant woman: I’m going to have a little girl, just like you.
Little girl: Oh! How nice for you. You must be very happy.
–Starbucks, 102nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Todd
Girl #1: You look really smart today.
Girl #2, with hand tucked in armpit: I look really smart? Why, because I’m putting corn starch on my wet parts?
–33rd & 3rd
