Big latina: I want to get to the gym more often.
Bigger latina: Yeah, I need to get around to that, too.
Big latina: The problem is, though, my man tells me he don’t want to go to the gym. He said he likes my weight right now and I shouldn’t lose any.
Bigger latina: He right.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Queens
Jewish guy #1: See if you can buy that broken cookie for a good deal.
Jewish guy #1 and #2 at same time: Fifty cents, yeah!
Jewish guy #3: That’s why we run the world.
All three: Yeah!
–Starbucks, 60th & 1st Ave
Overheard by: jeremy
Blonde chick on cell: Did you hear? She joined the Army! Isn’t that cute?
–Ave A & 9th St
Overheard by: Hannah
Mommy wannabe: You are so cute it’s retarded! It’s retarded how cute you are! Seriously!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: A White Bear
Tourist guy: Oh, that’s cute. All the benches are donated.
–Central Park
Overheard by: sarah
Guy: She’s just your standard-issue cute girl. There are a million of ’em in the city. There are probably a hundred just on this train!
–6 train
Thug on cell: Did they go up her butt? Then they ain’t cute. Only if they on you…
–Broadway & 12th
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Blonde teen: You are sooo cute when you’re drunk!
–Bridle Path, Central Park
Overheard by: if walls had ears
Pundit: The word ‘cute’ doesn’t do the men in here justice… Ha, ha. I made a funny!
–Queens County Civil Courthouse
Girl #1: So, he told me that I had the prettiest pussy he had ever seen.
Girl #2: Ew! What did you say?
Girl #1: I said, ‘Thank you.’ My mother told me to always take a compliment gracefully.
–Prince & Broadway
Chick: So how was the baby shower?
Guy: It was nice. My mother decorated it — there were hanging diapers everywhere and shit. It was cute.
–N train
Overheard by: tanechka
Girl #1: That’s a cute dog, I have one too.
Girl #2: Thank you.
Girl #1: Is that a toy terrier?
Girl #2: I don’t know. I just know he’s cute.
–Broadway & Spring St
Overheard by: Holden
Pregnant woman: I’m going to have a little girl, just like you.
Little girl: Oh! How nice for you. You must be very happy.
–Starbucks, 102nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Todd
Girl #1: You look really smart today.
Girl #2, with hand tucked in armpit: I look really smart? Why, because I’m putting corn starch on my wet parts?
–33rd & 3rd
Building engineer #1, watching pretty girl disembark: Pretty girl.
Building engineer #2: Very pretty.
Building engineer #1: You know, I would eat a pile of shit to get to that ass.
–Elevator, 130 Liberty St
Man in truck: [Honks horn]Rollerblading girl: What the hell does he want from me?
Man in truck: [Wolf whistles] Yeah, baby!
Rollerblading girl: …Oh. Sex.
–50th & Riverside
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Headline by: Jaya
Runners-Up:
· “And That’s How I Met Your Father… and Your Father. Oh, and Your Father Too.” – michael Levy
· “He Puts the ‘F’ in ‘Keep on Trucking'” – LadyP
· “I Knew Those Knee Pads Would Come in Handy!” – jackster
· “In Germany It Means ‘Let’s Play Scrabble Sometime'” – briguy
· “It’s Called a Chevy Pick-Up” – jason
· “Next on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom: Mating Calls of the North American Teamster” – Tom Beckett
· “Pointing at Your Crotch Just Doesn’t Say It Anymore” – Bevan
· “The Etymology of ‘Horny'” – wavyfrog
· “They Usually Want To Discuss Dialectical Materialism” – International Man of Leisure
· “Well That, and Directions to Maryland” – that1dude
· “What’s Wrong With a Little Four by Foreplay?” – Elle
