Chick: So do you wear briefs or boxers?
Dude: You mean panties?
Chick: No, you know, briefs.
Dude: Boxers. I wear boxers. Adult males don’t wear panties. Panties are for girls.
Chick: Why you call ’em panties?
Dude: That’s what we call ’em in jail.
–Hudson & Charleton
Guy #1: Yo man, he ain’t got no job and he don’t take care of his kids.
Guy #2: I know, but he’ll learn the hard way; we did.
Guy #1: He been to prison twice already; what else he got to learn?
–Penn Station
Woman #1: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Amy Fisher?
Woman #2: No.
Woman #1: Well, you do. I mean what she did was wrong and all, but she was a beautiful woman, so are you.
–6 train
Dad: Don’t wipe your hands on me! What’s wrong with you? Megan’s father only got 25 years after she went missing! And it’s not like I’m in a rush to get home to your mother!
Little boy: What?
Dad: …That was a messed-up thing to say, wasn’t it?!
–L train
Dad: You see that? Isn’t that beautiful?
Little boy: No. It’s stupid.
Dad: Huh? Come here, sit down. Don’t ever say something like that, okay? You know what happens when you say that’s stupid?
He slaps him lightly on the wrists.
Dad: You don’t want that, do you? Go look at it again and tell me what you see…Well, what do you see?…Is it beautiful?
Little boy: Yeah.
Dad: Okay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: David D.
Chick: How much for a ride?
Hansom guy: 45 dollars.
Lady cop: This is the last time I’m going to tell you, get off this street with this horse. If I see you one more time on this street I’m taking the horse and I’m locking you up! You hear me? I’ll take this horse and I’ll lock you up!
Hansom guy: Ha, ha! Fuckin’ bitch.
–50th & 5th
Chick #1: So how did your trial go?
Chick #2: It went well, it went my way.
Chick #1: That’s great.
Chick #2: Yeah. The guy was actually nice; well, he was listed as a violent felon, but…
Chick #1: A nice violent felon?
Chick #2: Ha, ha…yeah. He tried to play the “my 88 year old dad and my wife and kids are here, I’m in rehab trying to clean up my life” card. But I put him on the stand for the whole day and caught him in all these lies.
–Broadway & 13th
Chick #1: Why do those stone people on the side of the courthouse look so happy? Family court isn’t happy.
Chick #2: Yeah, if that were a real family, one would be holding a shovel, and the other one holding a fork.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Professor guy: And who was Sadat?
Chick: Leader of Egypt?
Professor: And what was he doing in 1981?
Chick: Being assassinated?
–Columbia University
Suit on cell: …and I appreciate that. Now get out of my house before I have you arrested.
–Penn Station
Conductor: If you see someone trying to steal from you, make a lot of noise, create a big scene, and I’m sure someone will come to your aid.
Man: Clearly this guy is not from New York. Maybe he’s from Utah or something.
–A train
