Girl: Like, my grandmother got stabbed with an ice pick by her brother. And then they were estranged for years.
–Bobst Library, Washington Square South
Girl: Like, my grandmother got stabbed with an ice pick by her brother. And then they were estranged for years.
–Bobst Library, Washington Square South
Pharmacist, coming out from behind counter: So how can I help you?
British tourish: Well, I have a headache and a bit of a sore throat and [pulls out piece of paper, shows to pharmacist] I am not sure, but I think this is illegal in the United States.
–Duane Reade, 47th & Lexington
Overheard by: EthanK
Man #1: You dropped your glove, sir.
Man #2: That’s how they caught O.J. Simpson, man!
–34th between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Queenie
Preppy blonde: And I would be in the alley, all secret… And then out of nowhere people in the street would hear “Fuck yeah–crack!” coming from the alley, and then the police would come, and I would totally be saying goodbye to my chances at Yale.
Tiny brunette friend: Yeah, totally.
–82nd & York
DMV employee: You didn’t write down “Assault with a deadly weapon” on your form.
Woman: Oh shit, I forgot that?
–College Point DMV, Queens
Overheard by: Noelle
Lady gentrifier: Like Joey Buttafuoco?
Guy gentrifier: Yes, like Joey Buttafuoco.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jordamn!
Angry man yelling into pay phone: Do you know what extortion is? Yeah? Well, it’s not nice.
–Polish resturant, Brooklyn Heights
Bus driver: To all the nice people who didn’t curse at the bus driver, thank you.
–Bx 8 bus
Overheard by: You’re Welcome
Woman collecting money for Coalition for the Homeless: Now, you have a nice day, sir! I don’t wanna tell you have a nice day, because you’re a horrible person! You should be giving me money, but you ain’t and you’re going to hell! But I’m a good person, so I’m going to say have a nice day anyway! Have a nice day, ladies. Shalom!
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Michelle Smith
Homely redhead: I started dating this new guy, and that’s really good because I haven’t dated anyone in over a year. We’ve been on two dates and he’s married and he’s really nice.
–60th & 5th
Dude: He’s a nice guy. If you cross him he’ll tie your ears together and slingshot boxes of wine in your face.
–Bleecker
Chick: She is a nice girl! Completely crazy.
–67th St stop, Queens
Dad: Katie! Katie! Where are you?
Little girl emerges.
Dad: What are you doing?! Never do that again. You know what happens when you walk away from Daddy? Some evil man comes and decides to take you and keep you forever.
–ABC Carpet, 19th & Broadway
Overheard by: hjane
Guy #1: So, Martha Stewart got out of jail today.
Guy #2: Yeah, she looks kinda hot…it must have been all the weightlifting!
–Pa Kua Martial Arts, 38th & 6th
Woman: Where are you from?
Tourist: We’re from Texas! Why, could you hear our accents over there?
Woman: No, it’s because in New York we know that you can’t bring dogs into restaurants.
Tourist: You can’t?
Woman: No, you can’t. We work for the Department of Public Health. Consider this a warning.
Tourist: Oh. I thought it was ok because y’all are ok with Paris Hilton and all.
–Red Lobster, Times Square
Overheard by: Lynne & Craig
