Girl #1: You don't like him.
Girl #2: You don't even like him–and you date him!
–New York Law School
Girl #1: You don't like him.
Girl #2: You don't even like him–and you date him!
–New York Law School
20-something girl to much older date: So do you smoke weed?
Guy: Not so much anymore.
20-something girl: Me either… Not much… I mean, it's been a long time… But I do know this awesome guy on St. Mark's who gives me cheap pipes and has great shit. He always has something new for me.
Guy, after pause: Actually, it sounds like you smoke a lot.
20-something girl, after embarrassed pause: Well… I buy a lot of gifts.
–G Train
Hipster girl, clearly on first date: So what do you do?
Hipster guy, in deadpan voice: I'm an animal trainer for the circus.
(unbearably long pause)
Hipster girl: Wow.
–The Gate, Park Slope
Floozy #1, at fancy restaurant: I don't know if I can date him. Some of his dance moves were just not what I would call “heterosexual.”
Floozy #2: Yeeeeah, but it's really hard to dance heterosexually to house music.
–Monkey Bar, Midtown East
Girl #1: Hey, if you were dating someone new and then they told you on, like, the third date or whatever that they had genital herpes, would you continue dating them? I mean, like, would you sleep with someone like that?
Girl #2: I don't know. Maybe. I mean, I feel like a lot of people who have herpes don't even know it, so the fact that they told you probably means they're responsible enough to get checked, and they, like, know how to take care of it and everything. In a weird way you may be less likely to get it from them than from someone who never mentions herpes at all.
Girl #1: That's interesting. I think I could do it if, like, I saw myself marrying them. Cause then I wouldn't have to worry about getting it and giving it to someone else. We could just get married, be in love, and be happy together, and grow old with each other, and with herpes.
Girl #2, seriously: That's so romantic.
–American Apparel, Chelsea
Overheard by: Has a different definition of
Really hot, butch Asian gay guy: It really just depends on the guy… I mean, I suppose versatility interests me. (looks away suspiciously, downs drink)
Really hot, butch white gay guy: Definitely. Versatility is key. I mean, I don't think I could ever date a total top. You're not a total top, are you?
Really hot, butch Asian gay guy: Not anymore.
–Bar, 51st & 9th
Hipster #1: So they hooked up on the cruise. And he's like, eighteen. But she's meeting him anyway. Even though we told her not to.
Hipster #2: Um, yeah. Why is she even going? Like, fuck and chuck, man.
–Outside Fashion Institute of Technology
Girl, holding guy's hand: Are you dating anyone?
Guy: No.
Girl: I thought you were…
Guy: I have an ex.
Girl: Oh, okay.
Guy: That I've tinkered with for about a month…
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Chris K.
Girl on cell: Yeah, the breakup was tough, but I'm feeling good about it now! (pause) Hell, yes, I'm dating! (pause) Yeah, it's an exciting time! So much suspense, so many questions! Will he call me? Whom should I choose? Does he like me? Do I have syphilis?
–M4 Bus
Overheard by: All good questions
Drunk gay guy who just dropped lit cigarette: Shit! If I pick this up, do I have herpes?
–Waverly & University Place
Guy to friend: Nietzsche had syphilis… Why can't I?
–G Train
Woman at newsstand: Do you sell anything for herpes and cold sores?
–W 4th St
Overheard by: wow…i didnt kno they sold that her
Gay man to girlfriend: Is Mr Syphilis coming?
–24th & 2nd
Overheard by: erkala
Exhausted woman with backpack: Why do I have to be so fat?
–42nd St
Gossip Girl clone to another: Oh my god! Can you even imagine being obese in this weather?
–Lafayette & Spring
Skinny gangster white boy: Yo, dude, are we hanging out with those fat chicks?
–96th St & Lexington
Overheard by: great standards
Chubby girl yelling on cell: Yeah, and her bridesmaid dress totally accentuates my back fat–as if I didn't have enough problems!
–47th & 3rd
