Girl: If I were stranded somewhere with a dead hooker in my trunk, you’re still the person I’d call.
Guy: To this day, that’s the best compliment I’ve ever received.
–1020 Bar, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl: If I were stranded somewhere with a dead hooker in my trunk, you’re still the person I’d call.
Guy: To this day, that’s the best compliment I’ve ever received.
–1020 Bar, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl: I never get into empty cars anymore. Last time I did there was a dead guy laying there, and I was stuck with that smell in my nose all day.
–Subway platform, South Ferry
Overheard by: annikee
Man to wife: What, you want to keep riding the train back and forth? I did that shit once. It was the most boring experience of my entire life!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: soixantedeux
Chick after V train passes through the station: There’s a runaway V train and people are still on it!
–C/E platform, 23rd St
Girl: Whenever I’m on the subway all I can think about is sex!
–NYU
Overheard by: ana
Announcer: There is a Bronx-bound one train approaching 34th Street.
–14th St station
Overheard by: Glad to know where the train I missed is
Mom to small child: Do you know if the trains are running express today, or will we have to take the local all the way down?
–W 93rd St
Tourist girl: Waaait… Is this the bus?
–E train, Queens
Overheard by: MegMC
Guy #1: So, I don’t mean to be morbid, but of all the ways one can die, which would you prefer? I mean, if you had a choice, how would you prefer to die?
Guy #2, matter-of-factly: Masturbating… Yeah, I’d like to go out while masturbating.
–Karavas restaurant, Christopher & 7th
Nerd #1: Didn’t Ford’s body get shipped to Washington?
Nerd #2: No.
Nerd #1: Oh. Then I must have seen that on 24 or something.
–Union Square
Rich girl #1: Do you remember that time in Saratoga when I thought you were dead?
Rich girl #2: Yeah, but I wasn’t.
–Ladies’ room, Mall
Overheard by: Wishing She Had Been
Guy #1: Yeah, so I was like, dead for two minutes.
Guy #2: Fuck yeah, dude! You fuckin’ died! [High five] What was it like?
Guy #1: I dunno, dude, I was dead!
–Brooklyn Industries, Williamsburg
Poli-Sci professor: … And the FCC makes rulings so that you can’t show nipples at the Super Bowl.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Girl: Wouldn’t it be weird to kill someone using only your nipples?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Argopelter
Tan chick: I don’t want those black bitches looking at my nipples.
–L train
20-ish broad: I just don’t think the tassles are big enough to fit over my nipples.
–Momofuku Ssam Bar, 13th & 2nd
Overheard by: McFreaky
Ghetto dude rapping to friends: Yo, the hash balls there are bigger than your girl’s nipples!
–E 4th St & Ave A
Overheard by: punkee
Nerd: My nipples are so hard they could pick a lock.
–Javits Center
Overheard by: Allisa
Sorostitute: Tonight would have been so much better if my nipple hadn’t exploded.
–Marriott, Times Square
Mom: What time is the flight tomorrow?
Dad: Seven a.m. We have to get up at 4:30.
Little girl: Mommy, we’re going on an airplane?
Mom: Yes, honey, we’re going to Florida tomorrow.
Little girl: Why are we going to Florida, Mommy?
Mom: We’re going to Grandpa’s unveiling.
Little girl, terrified: Mommy, I don’t want to see Grandpa. He’s dead and scary.
Dad: [Laughing.]Mom: Robert, shut up!
–Christopher & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Surfer Dude #1
NYU guy: Wait, so was it cocaine? It was cocaine, right?
Random girl at another table: Are you guys talking about Anna Nicole?
NYU guy: Yes! I missed the press conference! I feel, like, so irresponsible for not keeping up.
–Starbucks, Astor Pl
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Suit #1: I don’t know why you only take pictures of dead golfers.
Suit #2: Haha… I know.
–E 64th St & Park
