Little boy: I see Jesus, I see Jesus!!
Mother, pulling on little boys arm: Stop using that word, Billy!
–Ladies Room, Brooklyn Restaurant
Little boy: I see Jesus, I see Jesus!!
Mother, pulling on little boys arm: Stop using that word, Billy!
–Ladies Room, Brooklyn Restaurant
Remote control car vendor #1, to hot chick passerby: Hey, baby, I got a pretty girl discount!
Remote control car vendor #2: Yeah, I’m giving out free babies. Free babies!
–181st & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh H
Little girl: Where are we going now?
Mother: Chinatown.
Little girl: Vagina town?
Mother, chuckling: No — China-town.
Little girl, coyly: Well, I live in peeenis-town.
Mother: Okay, Lila.
–Union Square
Overheard by: S.S.
Hot girl #1: It’s the guy on the end of the train.
Hot girl #2: Wow. It’s amazing the human body can smell like that and still be alive.
–Coney Island-bound F train
Woman: Where is the men section?
Employee: This is the men section.
Woman: Oh, wow!
–Express For Him
Overheard by: Express
Girl #1 (in bodega): Oooh, can I have a little taste of that?
Girl #2: Lick my crabs!
–133rd & Amsterdam
British guy #1, weaving through umbrellas: You paid for a good time, not a long time.
British guy #2, sounding disgruntled: Well, I want a refund.
–Outside Bubba Gump Shrimp, Times Square
Overheard by: Mildred and Gertrude
Trashy girl (loudly): So I was suckin his cock for like 45 minutes and nothin happened, I was like, “fuck yo problem?”
Friend: Word?
Trashy girl: For real! (turns to staring suit) Excuse me, this is a private conversation!
–A Train
Hipster chick: What are you listening to?
Friend: Sarah McLachlan. Are you mad? Sometimes I listen to Jewel too.
–4 Train
Girl: So were they good-looking? Can you even tell if a guy is good-looking?
Guy (clueless, shrugging shoulders): I don't know! They were English!
–77th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
