Young child: Daddy, I don’t want to get run over!
Father, making them jaywalk: Yes, that’s a good philosophy to live by: Don’t get run over.
–12th & Broadway
Young child: Daddy, I don’t want to get run over!
Father, making them jaywalk: Yes, that’s a good philosophy to live by: Don’t get run over.
–12th & Broadway
Agitated Indian woman on platform, unable to board: You! You in the orange shirt! Do you speak English?
Asian woman in orange shirt: … Yes.
Agitated Indian woman: Could you move into the center of the car? Move in, move in! Move in so we can get on!
Asian woman: I am moved in. I’m in the exact center of the car!
Agitated Indian woman: No, there is room! Orange shirt, move in!
Asian woman: I can’t go anywhere. I don’t know what you expect me to do.
Agitated Indian woman: [String of expletives in Hindi.]Asian woman, under breath: Psycho.
–Crowded N train, 59th St stop
Overheard by: trappedinabay
Dominican girl #1, over a Nextel Two-Way: Yo. What’s up?
Dominican girl #2 across aisle, on her own Nextel Two-Way: Nuttin’. What’s up with you?
Dominican girl #1: Are you going to Jimmy’s party?
Dominican girl #2: Yeah, are you?
Dominican girl #1, pressing talk button too soon: When are you going? [Dominican girl #2 didn’t get message and doesn’t answer, so #1 yells across aisle, without phone.] Quit boxing me bitch! [To herself] Fucking Dominicans.
–Queens-bound R train
Overheard by: Rich
Black guy #1, to white posse passersby: I hate white people!
Black guy #2: Yo, you can’t say that — this is Park Slope!
Black guy #1: Fuck that — I am white.
Black guy #2: What, you mean by proxy or something?
–Union St & 4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: One of the whiteys
Guy: I was in Vegas with my mother, and she was complaining that she was the only flat-chested girl in the city, but flat is totally in right now.
Girl: Flat’s been in since I was, like, thirteen.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: katieb
Dude #1: They don’t give you condoms?
Dude #2: Naw, they don’t.
Dude #1: You serious, man? No condoms?!
Dude #2: Yeah, I’m serious — they don’t give out condoms!
Dude #1: Really… They don’t give you condoms in prison, huh?
Dude #2: Naw, man, not unless you have conjugal visits or somethin’.
–M11 bus
Patron: I just saw Dreamgirls.
Pianist: How was it?
Patron: So good it killed James Brown.
–Marie’s Crisis, 59 Grove St
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Dude #1: I wish I could just retire and do whatever I wanted. I’d go to Yale Law School.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know, man. I’d move to the Caribbean and bartend.
–New Haven Line
Overheard by: I can see why they’re such good friends
Big thug #1: … And I was like, ‘No fuckin’ way.’
Big thug #2: Yeah, nigga. That shit is like magic.
Big thug #1: I know, nigga. I did it. I went home and I ordered the new Harry Potter from Amazon. That shit came the next day. It was like magic.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: h
Girl #1: The following night we had sex.
Girl #2: Sex?
Girl #1: Yeah, but not normal sex.
Girl #2: What do you mean?
Girl #1, lowering voice: Butt sex.
Girl #2: In the butt?! What did he do?!
Girl #1: Nothing, it’s just tighter.
Girl #2: You’d have to be super drunk to do that.
Girl #3: Yeah, every time I’ve done it, I have been.
–96th & Lex
Overheard by: jc
