Wednesday One-Liners: Ribbed for Her Pleasure

Loud office chick: Oh my god, I found, like, four condoms on the bookshelf!

–Hudson St

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Serious teen on cell: If you use a condom… It doesn't count.

–Murray Hill

40-something woman to two 20-year-old men: Don't believe any girl when she tells you she's on birth control. Take your condom and keep it in your wallet.

–19th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: McCrum

Guy on cell: You're just mad because your dick is tiny and the condom slipped off.

–Greenpoint, Brooklyn

Powerwalking Indian woman: I mean, isn't that why I went on the pill? So guys can come in me?

–40th & Queens Blvd, Queens

Overheard by: Ohmarkus

Posted on August 20, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Condoms, Desi, Girls, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Penis, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Queens, Teens, Weirdness, Women

…Cowboy

Pretentious hipster: So where are you ethnically from?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Well, I know that, but are you from Bangladesh, Pakistan, or India?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Ohhh, you’re Native American.
Indian girl: I’ll take that drink now.

–Welcome to the Johnsons Bar, Lower East Side

Overheard by: blondie

Posted on April 22, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Default, Desi, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Hipsters, Lower East Side, Offers and requests, Questions, Race, Stupidity

I’m Not Getting Arrested for Breaking the Laws of Physics

Agitated Indian woman on platform, unable to board: You! You in the orange shirt! Do you speak English?
Asian woman in orange shirt: … Yes.
Agitated Indian woman: Could you move into the center of the car? Move in, move in! Move in so we can get on!
Asian woman: I am moved in. I’m in the exact center of the car!
Agitated Indian woman: No, there is room! Orange shirt, move in!
Asian woman: I can’t go anywhere. I don’t know what you expect me to do.
Agitated Indian woman: [String of expletives in Hindi.]Asian woman, under breath: Psycho.

–Crowded N train, 59th St stop

Overheard by: trappedinabay

Posted on March 3, 2008
Anger Management, Asians, Default, Desi, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Women

Better Luck Next Time

Desi kid #1: Shit I didn’t know Brooklyn was this advanced.
Desi kid #2: Isn’t that the Water Street dorm?
Desi kid #1: Oh yeah…
Desi kid #2: We didn’t quite make it off Manhattan, it seems.

–Water St

Overheard by: Innocenti

Posted on June 12, 2006
Brooklyn, College, Desi, Favorites, History & Geography, Manhattan, NYC Geography, NYU, Travel, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Homer and Apu Share All the Time

Guy #1: Did you know Bush agreed to share nuclear technology with the Indians?
Guy #2: Why do Indians need it? Oklahaoma is already a part of the US.
Guy #1: Dude, Indians as in citizens of India, a country in Asia.
Guy #2: I was never good at history.
Guy #1: You mean geography.
Guy #2: Asshole.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: margaret

Posted on March 9, 2006
Desi, History & Geography, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penn Station, Politics, Stupidity

Wednesday One-liners for Ed O’Neill

Guy: It’s not that I’m against marriage. I mean, I like weddings.

–Sammy’s Roumanian Steakhouse, Chrystie Street

Posted on March 8, 2006
Anger Management, Breaking Up, Desi, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Port Authority, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, The Village, Union Square and East Village

Aim for Where Freedom Lives: The Head

Teen Asian boy: So, the spelling bee–
Teen Indian girl: Was one of the kids Indian?
Teen Asian boy: Yeah, there was an Indian kid and a white kid.
Teen Indian girl: So typical. My parents entered me in a spelling bee and I was fucking horrible.
Teen Asian boy: Ha, ha, ha! Anyway, there were those two kids and I just wanted to throw PlayStations at them and yell, “I’m setting you free! I’m setting you free!”

–McDonalds, Union Square

Overheard by: Rachel W.

Posted on January 20, 2006
Asians, Desi, Food, Gadgets, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Manhattan, People, Places, Pop Culture, Union Square and East Village, Video Games, White People

Prince Alberts Ruin Another Ecclesiastical Career

Indian guy: Yo, I never told you I almost became a monk.
White guy: Shut up. You serious?
Indian guy: For real. I was this close. Before I applied for colleges, I checked out what you had to do to become a monk.
White guy: I couldn’t picture you as a monk. You don’t even go to church.
Indian guy: I know, right? I found out that they don’t allow piercings so I never applied.

–6 train

Overheard by: Yasmin Henning

Posted on December 10, 2005
Christianity, College, Desi, Guys, On the Subway, People, Places, Religion, Topics