Smug fashionista: My god, that’s a fashion faux pas if I ever saw one.
Confused companion: Oh, did she kill fashion again?
Smug fashionista: Not only did she kill fashion again, but she raped it after killing it! She’s like… like… the necrophiliac of haute couture or something…. Wait. What the fuck am I talking about?!
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: Minnie Sukthankar-Romanovich
Girl picking up a sweater: This is so cute!
Friend: Ick!
Girl, pointing at a pair of jeans: Oh, I love those! They’d fit me really nicely.
Friend: Um, no.
Girl, pointing at a dress: … Is this cute?
Friend: Meh.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: SUSAN
Fashionista: Yeah, one time I thought I took, like, 96 bong hits, but then I realized that I wasn’t inhaling.
Boyfriend: What about the time you ate thirty mushrooms and applied to Morgan Stanley?
Fashionista: Haha, I know! Who would have thought I’d have gotten that job?!
–Bowery Bar
Trendy female customer: I like your Jesus necklace. Do you believe in Jesus the Almighty?
Sales dude: I do.
Trendy female customer: As you should.
–Marc Jacobs, Bleecker
Overheard by: Andrea Quijano
Fashionista #1: Oh my god, look — white pants after Labor Day — so trashy.
Fashionista #2: Ew. Yeah.
Fashionista #1: When is Labor Day, anyway?
Fashionista #2: I don’t know.
–SoHo
Skinny fashionista: If you just eat like I eat and exercise, you’ll lose weight. I swear!
Normal woman: But you hardly eat anything. Don’t you get hungry?
Skinny fashionista: You are totally missing the point!
–Bar, Soho Grand
Overheard by: Manhattman
Snob #1: This is exactly what kids in school should see.
Snob #2: Especially in the Midwest, where they don’t read.
–Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Overheard by: Literate Midwesterner
Fashionista: I’m not ready for a rich man.
–East Village
Woman: Yeah, he’s got money. Like, when Michael Jackson tried to buy the Elephant Man? That kind of money. Giraffe money!
–Uptown 6 train
3-Year-Old: My daddy makes a lot of money so my mommy and me can live the life we want to live.
–Playground, DUMBO
Overheard by: grimrosary
Salesperson: Yeah, so he was like, “That’s what it means to be rich. I can buy whatever makes me and my fiancé happy. I can buy her all the Harry Potter memorabilia that she wants.”
–Paragon Sports, 18th & Broadway
Overheard by: LSB
Wall-Street-Intern chick: So, if the weather is bad here in the Hamptons I may just fly to California or South Beach for the weekend. Hopefully nobody at work will need me because I may have to get a flight on Friday morning. You know, I have to do what’s fiscally feasible for me…and by “me”, I mean my parents.
–D train
Overheard by: I hope she reads this, and then dies…
Male customer to deli worker: Do you know where can I get a fake Rolex with counterfeit money?
–19th & 6th
Overheard by: Hobo Hank
Little girl, talking for a teddy bear with a stocking over its head, to another teddy bear: Give me all your money!
–Goodwill
Girl on cell: I was like, “Back up, bitch. Get off your high horse and don’t ever talk to me again.” Such a bitch. And the thing is, she’s not even cute. Like, she has no right! She’s a fucking bitch, and she’s ugly! It’s one thing to be a bitch, but to be one when you’re ugly? You just don’t do that.
–19th & Broadway
Aspiring fashionista: I don’t know what I’d do if I had a kid and it was ugly. I’d probably die of embarassment or something. Maybe I should adopt. Can you, like, ask the adoption people to give you a good-looking child or something?
–SoHo
Flight attendant: We will be dimming the cabin lighting, as it greatly improves the attractiveness of your in-flight crew.
–JetBlue flight, JFK
Overheard by: Josh Barro
Father, to kids: Good job, guys! So [the doctor] says you’re ugly, but healthy.
–Pediatrics office, Tribeca
Buff girl on cell: Yeah, well, she accused me of being mean. She insulted this new dress I was wearing at the party and was all like, “Ew that is so ugly,” which was kinda bitchy, don’t you think? So I told her, “That’s because it would look like shit on you.”…Whatever. It’s true.
–NYSC, Whitestone
Overheard by: Karen
