Hipster girl to friends: Oh my god, how lol are we right now?
Friend: Oh my god, so lol!
–20th & 8th, New School Dorm
Hipster girl to friends: Oh my god, how lol are we right now?
Friend: Oh my god, so lol!
–20th & 8th, New School Dorm
Guy in crowd: Don't touch me!
Friend: Dude, maybe you shouldn't say that here.
Guy: No, I mean you–you're the one who peed on your hands.
–All Points West Ferry Line
Middle-aged black woman sipping a beer in paper bag: Would you retire from crazy if those checks was comin’ in?! Hell naw!
Friend: Not me… Nope.
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Kelly Arguello
Middle aged guy: I keep getting injured at concerts.
Friend: You do?
Middle aged guy: Yeah, like, when I fell off the stage at Girl Talk… Well, more like I got pushed.
–E Houston & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: BenRC
Twentysomething woman to friends: Yeah, I was thinking I should really google myself too, so I can finally like…
Friend: See what you do?
Twentysomething woman: Yeah!
–122nd, between Broadway and Amsterdam
Overheard by: amarg
Headline by: Del
Runners-Up:
· “Debbie From Dallas Will Be in For a Shock…” – BareNakedLady
· “Google: Solving Existential Crises Since 1998” – Ely Henry
· “Put a Towel Down First” – Kevin P
· “Stacy Finds Out What All Those Little Blinking Red Lights in Her Boyfriend’s Bedroom Were All About.” – danielle
· “Vanity, Thy Name Is Google!” – fester60613
Queer to friend: What sign are you?
Friend: Leo.
Queer: Oh, good. I decided that I am going to base what I think of people based on their astrological signs, and I hate Geminis. Like, if I adopt a baby and it's a Gemini I'm going to give it back!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: poor kid
Young man: You're fat because you need to release. Look at me, that's why I'm slim and sexy. I beat off every day.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Salesgirl to salesgirl friend: I wanna thank you for taking the time to repeatedly hit me in my arm fat and make it jiggle.
–Henri Bendel
Overheard by: Stephan Dion
Professor to class of girls: You guys are all thin (looks around classroom and notices there are some fat girls) …mostly.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Suit to another: All I'm trying to say is, she's not tall enough for her weight.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: ednapontellier
Black girl: Fat people can do splits because they have no bones.
–Pizza Place, St. Mark's Place
Five-year-old to very overweight man while waiting for Thanksgiving Day parade: Are you one of the balloons?
–Broadway & 50th St
Overheard by: Peter
Dude #1: So that new girl is pretty hot.
Dude #2: I’d like to kiss her vagina. Closed mouth ’cause i’m respectful like that.
–6 train
Fat man: My left retina just detached.
Friend, not even looking at him: You'll be fine.
–Washington Square Park
Rollerblading chick #1: Jim was like totally cock-blocking me the other night.
Rollerblading chick #2: Well he is your husband.
–Watts Street & West Side Highway
