You Should See My Notes for Sexual Anthropology

Teen girl #1: Don’t read it.
Teen boy: Really?
Teen girl #2: It’s so overrated. Everyone’s like “Oh my god, Frankenstien is awesome!” but it’s not. It isn’t. Frankenstein sucks so hard.
Teen girl #1: Victor spends half the book sick, and the monster spends half the book spying on a family with a hot Arabian chick.
Teen boy: What about all the torches and Igor and everything?
Teen girl #2: Not there.
Teen boy: For real?
Teen girl #1: Just a lot of a Swiss guy crying and lying on the floor. I even have it in my notes, “Victor says: ‘When in doubt, pass out!'” And there’s a stick figure giving a thumbs up.

–Forbidden Planet

Posted on April 30, 2019
Books & Writing, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Friends, Girls, Questions, Store, Teens, Union Square and East Village

C’mon, That Shit Was Weaker Than What We Snorted at Frank’s Funeral

Dude #1: It’s not like you did anything for me…
Dude #2: I brought the cocaine… I brought cocaine for you at my engagement party!

–Rumsey Field, Central Park

Overheard by: Jet Black

Posted on April 25, 2019
Assholes, Celebrations/Parties, Central Park, Cocaine, Comebacks, Friends, Friendship, Gripes, Guys, Sex & Relationships

I Hope That Isn't Code for Something Else

Middle aged man: Let me get a dollar.
Friend: You still owe me a Snickers bar from Riker's Island, motherfucker.

–Grand Central

Posted on April 23, 2019
Friends, Grand Central, Insults, Junk Food & Fast Food, Men, Money & Class

Wednesday One-Liners Ain't Got the Money, Honey

Older man, to no one in particular: That's why I keep my income low, so no one jumps me.

–Myrtle & Clinton, Brooklyn

Woman with scratch-off lotto card to friend: I won four dollars! I won four dollars! You know I can't spend that, though. I gotta get food for my kids. Those niggas be hungry!

–Staten Island Ferry

Angelic-looking teen girl screaming into cell: Are you coming to the movies with me? You're broke? Just mug someone on the way. Mug someone! (pause) Mug! M-u-g! Rhymes with "thug"!

–Chambers & West St

Puerto Rican dude on cell: I ain't got no money. I got weed, but I ain't got no money.

–25th St & 7th Ave

Village lady: She was in foreclosure before it was fashionable to be in foreclosure.

–Bleecker & Mercer

Posted on April 17, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crime and Punishment, Fashion, Food, Friends, Height, Kids, Men, Money & Class, Movies, Offers and requests, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Puerto Ricans, Staten Island Ferry, Store, Teens, The Village, Thievery, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Women, Words

Total Cunt.

Teenager to friend: Well, her name is Alexandra, and I was not hooking up with her…
Random passerby, interrupting: Yeah, that's right, I once knew a girl named pussy!

–West Houston St

Overheard by: nickwe

Posted on April 12, 2019
Friends, Hook Ups, Names, Strangers, Teens, Vagina, Weirdness, West Village

You Should See Me Squeeze the Melons

Enraged hipster: Clearly, I am not a child!
Hipster friends: (silence)
Enraged hipster: I do my own grocery shopping!

–10th St & University Place

Overheard by: PotatoPuff

Posted on April 3, 2019
Age/Aging, Anger Management, Friends, Hipsters, Shopping, The Village

Boys Take Non-Poking Very Literally

Teen girl: I was so mad at him that I unfriended him on Facebook.
Friend: What does that mean?
Teen girl: I was mad, but not mad enough to break up. This way we can still message each other, but he can't poke me anymore.
Friend: So, technically, would this be symbolic or metaphorical action?
Teen girl: What?
Friend: Nevermind.

–Penn Station

Posted on March 30, 2019
Breaking Up, Default, Facebook, Friends, Girls, Penn Station, Questions, Relationships, Stupidity, Teens

… And He Had the Smallest Penis We’d Ever Seen!

Pissing dude to couple walking: Hey! Hey! Don’t look! I am, in fact, urinating.
Friend: Yeah, sorry to ruin your night of flowers and romance, but at least you have a good story to tell your friends now.

–81st & Amsterdam