Middle-aged black woman sipping a beer in paper bag: Would you retire from crazy if those checks was comin’ in?! Hell naw!
Friend: Not me… Nope.
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Kelly Arguello
Middle-aged black woman sipping a beer in paper bag: Would you retire from crazy if those checks was comin’ in?! Hell naw!
Friend: Not me… Nope.
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Kelly Arguello
Middle aged guy: I keep getting injured at concerts.
Friend: You do?
Middle aged guy: Yeah, like, when I fell off the stage at Girl Talk… Well, more like I got pushed.
–E Houston & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: BenRC
Twentysomething woman to friends: Yeah, I was thinking I should really google myself too, so I can finally like…
Friend: See what you do?
Twentysomething woman: Yeah!
–122nd, between Broadway and Amsterdam
Overheard by: amarg
Headline by: Del
Runners-Up:
· “Debbie From Dallas Will Be in For a Shock…” – BareNakedLady
· “Google: Solving Existential Crises Since 1998” – Ely Henry
· “Put a Towel Down First” – Kevin P
· “Stacy Finds Out What All Those Little Blinking Red Lights in Her Boyfriend’s Bedroom Were All About.” – danielle
· “Vanity, Thy Name Is Google!” – fester60613
Queer to friend: What sign are you?
Friend: Leo.
Queer: Oh, good. I decided that I am going to base what I think of people based on their astrological signs, and I hate Geminis. Like, if I adopt a baby and it's a Gemini I'm going to give it back!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: poor kid
Young man: You're fat because you need to release. Look at me, that's why I'm slim and sexy. I beat off every day.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Salesgirl to salesgirl friend: I wanna thank you for taking the time to repeatedly hit me in my arm fat and make it jiggle.
–Henri Bendel
Overheard by: Stephan Dion
Professor to class of girls: You guys are all thin (looks around classroom and notices there are some fat girls) …mostly.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Suit to another: All I'm trying to say is, she's not tall enough for her weight.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: ednapontellier
Black girl: Fat people can do splits because they have no bones.
–Pizza Place, St. Mark's Place
Five-year-old to very overweight man while waiting for Thanksgiving Day parade: Are you one of the balloons?
–Broadway & 50th St
Overheard by: Peter
Dude #1: So that new girl is pretty hot.
Dude #2: I’d like to kiss her vagina. Closed mouth ’cause i’m respectful like that.
–6 train
Fat man: My left retina just detached.
Friend, not even looking at him: You'll be fine.
–Washington Square Park
Rollerblading chick #1: Jim was like totally cock-blocking me the other night.
Rollerblading chick #2: Well he is your husband.
–Watts Street & West Side Highway
20-something hipster to friend, punching him in the arm: Dude, you stole my Facebook status!
–Central Park
Overheard by: dude, just think up a new one!
Cable man to another, standing in line at Wendy's: Yeah, I was across the street at Popeyes, but it looked like some man was going to rob the place, so I came here instead.
–Flatbush & Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Anna
Crazy lady to pigeon: Get outta here! You ain't gonna get none if you beg. You gotta wait for me to give it to you. (throws bread in other direction) That's why you ain't get none. (a few minutes later, she gets up to leave) Alright. It's been real. Thank for not stealing my potato chips.
–Tribeca Park
Four-year-old boy to mom: Mom, when you take chips from my bag without asking, you're stealing. We talked about this. We talked about this at length.
–Uptown 3 Train
Overheard by: This girl from NY
Hot hippie chick: Excuse me, you need a hand?
Old blind man: Nah, I'm just getting to the n train. Thanks so much, though!
Hot hippie chick: Alright, you have a great day!
Blind man: Same to you!
Overlooking suit to friend: Nice New Yorkers…they just blow my mind.
–Union Square Subway Station
