Big noisy ghetto chick: Oooh, chiiile, can I get an aaay-men?!
Super tiny little sister: [Long pause] How can it be ‘a men’ if ‘men’ is plural and ‘a’ suggests singular?
–2 train, 79th St station
Big noisy ghetto chick: Oooh, chiiile, can I get an aaay-men?!
Super tiny little sister: [Long pause] How can it be ‘a men’ if ‘men’ is plural and ‘a’ suggests singular?
–2 train, 79th St station
Crazy bag lady on the l train: It is the winter of our discontent!
Ghetto girl #1: I dunno what you talkin’ bout. It’s content up in this motherfuckin’ winter. Maybe your ass would be contenter if you got a job.
Ghetto girl #2: Girl, shut up. You ain’t got no job either.
–L Train
Overheard by: ForniKate
Woman on cell: I don’t know if my horoscope is about my husband or my boyfriend.
–19th St & Park Ave South
Overheard by: Jenny
Guy on cell: If I fuck another woman in the ass, that’s not, like, really cheating, is it? I mean, it’s just her ass. Shit comes out of there. It’s less personal than the twat… You don’t think so?
–Court St, Boro Hall, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
Chick on cell: How do I hide a hickey? I’m hiding it from my boyfriend… No, it’s not from him… No, not from him either… I’ll tell you later, I promise… Yes, I know I have a problem — it is big and red and on my neck and I do not need lectures right now. I need to figure out if I am ‘Creamy Ivory’ or ‘Tawny Honey’!
–Rite-Aid, 40th St & Broadway
Ghetto girl to boyfriend: It’s not cheating — they’re in entertainment.
–63rd & Amsterdam
Old Irish guy: That’s why Jesus died for our sins, ’cause he knew we’d be out with other women.
–Midtown Union Bar, 44th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Danny Lynch
Business chick: So, then, I really don’t consider it cheating, because it happened before the whole Santa thing.
–49th & Broadway
Overheard by: what the hell is going on??
Guy on phone: Look, I know she was my girlfriend when we were in high school… Yeah, yeah, I know it’s been 20 years — of course people change… Two kids ain’t that bad… I know she married, but you don’t get it — she does yoga. Have you ever banged a chick that’s done yoga? Look, man, she does the handstand thing… I know I’m going to hell… Or her husband will catch us first. Haha, do you really think anyone is listening to this shit? No. And if they are, who the hell are they going to tell?
–7 train
Ghetto clerk #1: Someone called before from New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: So?
Ghetto clerk #1: Well, I didn’t know there was a New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: Yeah, there’s Mexico and New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #1: Oh, I get it. So it’s like Bronk and da Bronx?
Ghetto clerk #2: Not really.
–Manhattan Supreme Court
Teen ghetto girl #1: But you’re 15! That’s 5 years. You’d be like a pedophile.
Teen ghetto girl #2: It’s not like I’m looking for a relationship. I just wanna bone.
Teen ghetto girl #1: I need to bring you to church. You need every kind of religion there is.
–1 train
Overheard by: inge
Student: Yeah, someone who plays the cello is a cellist, someone who makes art is an artist, and someone who writes poetry is a poist.
–Hunter College High School
Heavily accented Asian cashier to heavily accented Asian coworker: What!? Speaka English, por favor.
–J2 Deli, W 18th St
Overheard by: nick m
Bimbo looking at scoreboard: I think the "e" stands for "exqualifications" You know, for when a player is "exqualified".
–Yankees Stadium
Lady: I know what I am, he ain't gonna labelize me.
–Washington Square Park
Real estate agent: And all the doormen and service staff are Easter European.
–Park Avenue
Overheard by: Looking for an apartment
Ghetto college girl: I'll talk to you later, I gots to get my learn on, girl.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Corey
Ghetto girl: There is no I in ‘team.’
Ghetto boy: There is also no I in ‘gangbang.’
–Astoria
Overheard by: Erik
Ghetto boy: Who’s your favorite killer of all time?
Ghetto girl: Definitely Michael Myers. He’s, like, the most realistic and has the best personality.
–R train
[After being asked for full fare.]Ghetto woman: No, ma’am! I do not have to pay! Did you forget about Abraham Lincoln in 1856, I mean 1865? He freed the slaves! Guess you forgot!
Assistant conductor: I still need the full fare, ma’am!
Ghetto woman: No, ma’am! I still don’t see my reparations! Where’s my check?!?! Where’s my 40 acres and a mule?!?!
–Metro North
Overheard by: Laughing Whitey
Ghettomama: My son’s favorite color used to be red, because his father is a Blood, but I’ve gotten him out of that. Now it’s blue, and his father is going nuts.
–30th & 5th
8-year-old boy: But why does your mom want to get so many tattoos?
–94th between Broadway & Amsterdam
