Girlfriends

Girl: I can't decide if I should wear my hair up or down. (friend nods) I mean, you know when you have to make, like…decisions?

–Bathroom, Columbia University

Very white middle-school boy, yelling to friends: He say yo' momma got a cheap-ass weave!

–87th & Lexington

Girl with huge curly hair: You see I, ugh…randomly wake up reaching up to feel, and see if my hair is still there. Then my subconscious is like "wait! Am I breathing?" Oh yes. I'm breathing!

–Chat N Chew Restaurant

Young teen guy to girlfriend: You see, I got hairline issues. You know, 'cuz when you get older, your hair follicles increase and your hair is less. I'm not used to my hair. It used to be here (points to his forehead), but now it's here. (points to the same place on his forehead) I got hairline issues.

–4 Ttrain

Overheard by: Megz

Nanny, adjusting ward's ponytail: If I fall, I'm taking your hair with me.

–5 Train

Man, looking at stage: Why are there shrimp hanging on the wall?
Girlfriend: Those aren't shrimp, they're horses' heads! This isn't a musical!

Equus

Overheard by: Hope

Coked-out hipster girlfriend, loudly: And that's why I could never wake up for Pilates.
Hipster boyfriend: Julia. Turn the voice down. People are looking.
Coked-out hipster girlfriend: Well, I can't help the way my voice projects. I used to be an actress.
Hipster boyfriend: No, you didn't.
Coked-out hipster girlfriend: Well, I'm a model.
Hipster boyfriend: No, you're not.
Coked-out hipster girlfriend: I'm kind of a drug dealer.
Hipster boyfriend: Yeah. Which is so gay.

–Williamsburg Bridge

Boyfriend: Ah, don't listen to her, she still believes in magic.
Girlfriend: Jesus! I believe in Jesus!

–117th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Schenk

Manly boyfriend, excitedly: And then he pulled it down, and it was a monkey face! A monkey face, a monkey face, every time a monkey face!
Girlfriend: Wow! Oh my god, wow!

–9th & University

Overheard by: Kristina Lustig

Girlfriend: So, can I pull it out now?
Boyfriend: I don't know…
Girlfriend: C'mon, I wanna pull it out now.
Boyfriend: I guess, but I don't know that you'll be able to find it.
Girlfriend: Nah, I bet it'll just pop right back out.
Boyfriend: Okay, you can pull it out.

–Q46 Bus

Overheard by: Cori

Comedy promoter: Do you like stand-up comedy?
Guy: Sure.
Promoter: Here, take a look at this!
Guy: No, thanks.
Promoter: Take one! It's not drugs!
(girlfriend grabs guy's hand, they keep walking)
Promoter: Sir, don't let that woman control your life! You are your own person!

–Outside Penn Station

Overheard by: Ashley

Gangsta, passing sushi restaurant: Yo. You wanna eat sushi?
Girlfriend: Sushi? You don't even eat pussy, how you gonna eat sushi?

–8th St b/w 1st & 2nd

Overheard by: Garry Lash

Guy: So Russia invaded Georgia this morning.
Ditzy girlfriend: Get the fuck out! My aunt lives in Atlanta!

–84th & Broadway

Overheard by: mark

Guy: Hey, Marie, we're going this way. Yeah, Marie…I'm calling you Marie today. Today is “middle name day.”
Girlfriend, shrugging: Whatever you say, Carol.

–Canal Street Station