Boyfriend: I guess we can get some stuff at Gristedes, the ghetto grocery.
Girlfriend: Gristedes isn't ghetto! It was on Project Runway!
–Gristedes
Overheard by: Fox
Boyfriend: I guess we can get some stuff at Gristedes, the ghetto grocery.
Girlfriend: Gristedes isn't ghetto! It was on Project Runway!
–Gristedes
Overheard by: Fox
Loud, shit-faced Asian girl to strangers: You want some of this? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love sex. [falls forward, taps stranger on forehead.] herro! Anybody home?! [laughs hysterically].
–Metro North
Drunk chick: Fuck technology, first it kills the bees, now it’s killing my ovaries!
–A Train
Drunk guy: Last night I shit on my balls!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Drunk girl to drunk boyfriend: Well, you fingered me in the cab!
–A Train
Drunk preppy businessman: Just tell her to put the oil in the noodles and rub it all over the chest…
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: voluptuousgrl
Drunk girl in the bathroom, picking up plastic bag from the garbage: Whose baby is this?!?!
–Madison Square Garden Bathroom
Girlfriend: My shoes are killing me.
Boyfriend: If you don't stop I'll have to punch you in the cunt.
Girlfriend: Would you even know where to find it?
–East Village
Overheard by: C
30-something woman #1, about news anchor on tv: Is he okay now?
30-something woman #2: Was he not?
30-something woman #1: Well, he was married…
–University & 11th St
Overheard by: yeah, I know what you mean
Hispanic dude, about large Pitbull: Yo, this nigga is the one! I'ma take this nigga home with me!
Girlfriend, about adjacent dog: I like this one!
Hispanic dude: Bitch, fuck you! I'ma take the dog and leave you here! Put you in the dog cage, take this nigga home!
–Animal Care and Control, Adoptable Dog Ward
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Boyfriend: I’m sorry, I just can’t be with you anymore. You’re too clingy.
Girlfriend: I’m not clingy! I fucked, like, ten other guys!
Boyfriend: While we were dating?
Girlfriend: Whatever, it was because you’re not that good in bed. Oh, yeah, I faked all my orgasms, by the way. And my boobs? –Aren’t water balloons!
Boyfriend: Dude. First of all, we’re on a motherfucking-packed subway. Second of all, being a crazy bitch isn’t going to help your case.
Girlfriend starts crying hysterically: You can’t break up with me! I love you! I love you! I love you!
Stranger, to boyfriend: If you’re thinking of killing yourself after this, I sell knives.
–Brooklyn-bound L train
Husky unshaved guy to younger girlfriend: You mean you never saw Animal House? You're not human!
–Lower West Side
Thug to another: Jabba the Hutt? That's like some Tony Soprano shit, nigga. And the spices? That's drugs. Star Wars drugs!
–13th St & University
Overheard by: Jaimie
Girl to friends: My English teacher said Precious is "whack."
–City Cinemas, E 86th St
Stuffy Bulgarian professor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It's very funny, right?
–NYU
Overheard by: really glad I got up before 9:30 for this
Girl on cell: Yeah, after that movie, I'm gonna think all adopted kids are evil dwarfs with a hormone imbalance.
–Columbus Circle
Tall, gorgeous girl to much shorter, uglier boyfriend: Why do you need to know were I was last night? I thought you said our relationship was all about trust!
Boyfriend: I'm your boyfriend! I have a right to know where you were and who you were with!
(as they stop walking and argue loudly, a small crowd begins to gather)
Tall girl: Do you thing I was cheating? Why would you think that? You're the one that said you're the only one that will ever love me!
(crowd boos boyfriend)
Boyfriend: I am the only man that will ever love you!
Random guy in crowd: I love you!
Boyfriend: You love me?
Random guy: No you douchebag, your girlfriend!
–Broadway & Wall St.
Boyfriend: It’s called Taormina.
Girlfriend: Tromina?
Boyfriend: No, Taormina.
Girlfriend: Tarmina?
Boyfriend: No, tah-or-min-ah.
Girlfriend: Ta-roh-min-ah?
Boyfriend: How can you not say this? We’re fucking Italian!
–Mulberry St, Little Italy
Girlfriend: I'm not feeling so good.
Boyfriend: Why? What's wrong?
Girlfriend: I feel queasy and dizzy.
Boyfriend: What if you were pregnant?
Girlfriend: By what? Immaculate conception? Or your finger?
–13th St & 4th Ave
Overheard by: Biscuit-lover
