Drunk girl: So, have you heard from her?
Drunk guy: No, she’s too busy popping out fetuses. She pops out a fetus like every week!
–57th & 9th
Overheard by: Cori
Drunk girl: So, have you heard from her?
Drunk guy: No, she’s too busy popping out fetuses. She pops out a fetus like every week!
–57th & 9th
Overheard by: Cori
Guy: Yeah, and he lied to me about dying, too!
–Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Girl: So what is your name going to be tonight?
–6th Ave & 57th St
Queer on cell: She tried to tell me that I was fatter than him — that muthafucka is the worst liar in the world!
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: She was probably right…
Guy: I just told her, ‘Keep on fakin’ those orgasms!’
–7th Ave & 32nd St
Suit on cell in McDonald’s: Yeah, well, I’m in Connecticut right now…
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Blaine
Conductor: There’s another local train directly behind this one. I would never lie to you.
–W train to Astoria
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Man exiting taxi: If anyone asks, we walked!
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Kyle
Drunk guy, matter-of-factly: Everyone comes in here and thinks they're smelling pot, when really they're just smelling Italians.
–Hammerstein Ballroom Men's Room
Young girl on cell: Well, I mean, I have eaten macaroni. Does that count as Italian?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Kayla Monetta
Man on cell: And this guy smelled like shit! (pause) Yeah, I told him, "you smell like Italian."
–E 10th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: molina1230
Loud bridesmaid at Guido wedding: I'm Sicilian from the waist up, American from the waist down.
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
College guy to friend: From the minute they got here, they started eating. Italian feasts are pornography. Italian food is illicit sex to the puritans. Everything the puritans eat is bland and brown.
–Brooklyn College
Middle-aged, pot-bellied guy with a long pony-tail, stopping young woman on the street: Excuse me, but I just want to say, once you've had Italian food, you're not hungry for anything else. I just ate a calzone and now I'm going to go home and just go to sleep!
–8th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Not hungry either
Girl #1: This says it's 99 degrees out.
Girl #2: Really? I would have thought it's 100 degrees.
–32nd St & Madison Ave
Girl #1: Oh my god! That condom wrapper says “oriental flavor.” What does that even mean?
Girl #2, looking at litter: I think that's a Ramon noodle seasoning pouch.
–Central Park
Girl: I saw that movie when it came out, The Passion of the Christ.
Grandma: What movie?
Girl: The Passion of the Christ. You haven’t heard of it?
Grandma: Yes, but I’m not interested in watching it. Mel Gibson produced it.
Girl: Oh. So it’s a principle thing.
Grandma: No. It’s an I-don’t-like douchebaginess thing.
–JFK Airport
Chick #1: Man, I wish Colin would stop saying he loves me.
Chick #2: Why, you don’t love him?
Chick #1: I care about him, but I don’t love him. I only love one person.
Chick #2: Who? God?
Chick #1: No — me.
–Park Plaza Diner, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Haley
Professor: Gods, these students. It’s like they just don’t get it, you tell them things and two minutes later they ask you the same thing. How did they get here? What are they going to major in? In "homelessness"?
–English Department, Hostos Community College
Well-dressed 20-something girl: Homeless people tell me to cheer up all the time!
–1 train
Rich woman #1, fixing rich woman #2’s scarf: [laughs] Oh my god, you look homeless!
–1 Train
Overheard by: sagehen
Well-dressed woman on cell: It’s just another Wednesday and I’m a bag lady.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Mother to her flock of children entering the train and then getting off: Run guys run, theres a homeless guy on that train! Run!
–F Train
Overheard by: yana
Girl looking at abstract wall installation: Oh god. This is pure art. It really speaks to me.
Boy: What does it say?
Girl: (makes loud farting sound and walks away)
–Art Exhibit, Time Warner Building
Chick #1: So I came home last weekend, and I saw that my dad had organized my vibrators.
Chick #2: By color or shape?
Chick #1: Color.
–Club Exit, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Galina
