Creepy guy: I like your hat.
Girl reading: Thanks.
Creepy guy: Do you have the time?
Girl reading: Sure. 6:30.
Creepy guy: Can I ask what your book is about?
Girl reading: Female circumcision.
Creepy guy: No, can I ask what your book is about?
Girl reading: Female circumcision.
Creepy guy: Are you serious?!
Girl reading: Yeah.
Creepy guy: You enjoy that.
Girl reading: Thanks, I will.
–Q Train
California girl: Where are you from?
Jersey girl: New Jersey. You?
California girl: California.
Jersey girl: Oh, wow! I like California. It’s nice. California is like an exciting version of Maryland.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Chiara
NYU girl, to girl with earplugs: Ew! He put those in his ears and now they’re in yours?!
Girl with earplugs: …He put his penis in my vagina…
–4th & Astor
Overheard by: claire
Headline by: Tim Ferlito
Runners-Up:
· “Five More Orifices: Just Think Of the Possibilities!” – sim etrias
· “Granted, the Earplugs Go in Deeper…” – flippin
· “Haven’t You Heard Of Hearing AIDS?” – Constant Irritant
· “He Gives Good Aural Too.” – Rick Felice
· “Not Just His Earwax, But the Earwax Of Every Girl He’s Ever….” – Matt
· “Wax On, Whacks Off” – NJ
Girl #1: It’s not a date. We’re just going to a show. It’s like if you and me went.
Girl #2: Except he’s not black and short like me.
Girl #1: And I love him.
Girl #2: You love me too.
Girl #1: I don’t want to suck on parts of your body.
–Madison Square Park
Girl: What do you mean, you like her? Like, you-want-to-bone-her like-her?
Guy: Could you please not say that!?
–NYU Kimmel Student Center
Overheard by: A. Haven
20-something girl: … And then he drank the holy water, wait, no. I drank the holy water, and he got sick, but I didn’t.
20-something guy: Did it cure your gout?
20-something girl, angrily: I don’t have the gout!
–Crowded Elevator, Atlantic Ave Station, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tigertail
Guy: Wait, what part of New York is Chicago in?
Girl: What?! Chicago isn’t in New York! Chicago is its own state.
Guy: No, it’s not a state! It’s called the “windy city.”
Girl: Oh, right. I guess it is in New York then.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Hang on, I’ll look it up on my blackberry.
–Fordham University
Tacky girl #1: These shoes are too cute! [Points to a pair of shiny, patent leather heels.] Aren’t they totally cute?
Tacky girl #2: Yeah. So cute.
Tacky girl #1: So great… They’re like shiny little spider claws!
–Clothing Boutique, Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Amy
Girl: I think it’s because he’s a drug addict.
Boy: No it is not! I know a lot of drug addicts, and they are nice! He’s just an asshole.
–Epoca, Fort Greene
Guy: Is there such a thing as too hi-res?
Girl: Yea, it’s called real life.
–16th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: John Fischetti
