Girl: I was like, “High school is over. I can’t wait to get away from everyone!” And then, thanks to you, I actually realized that I might miss some people. You, James*, Gabrielle*, Dave V.*, Karen G.*!
Guy: But all of us except James are going to St. John’s, and he’s coming here to Queens.
Girl: But Gabrielle is going to Jersey! Everyone knows that once you go to Jersey, your soul dies.
–Queens College campus
Overheard by: Peter G.
Guy: My dad’s dating Jabba the Hutt with red eyebrows.
Girl: No!
–Myrtle & Washington, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sara Jerome
Ghetto guy: Yo, can I getcha number?
Girl: Umm, no, this is my boyfriend.
Girl leans in to kiss gay friend.
Ghetto guy: Oh, ok, sorry. I didn’t know.
Gay friend: Girl, if I wasn’t gay before, I sure as hell am now!
–1 train
A teen girl punches her father repeatedly in the arm.
Older sister: You know he can’t feel that, right? He’s wearing a leather jacket.
Teen girl: What?
Older sister: Yeah, that’s why motorcyclists wear leather, so they don’t get their skin scraped off when they go sliding across the pavement.
Teen girl: Oh! So if I punch a cow, it can’t feel it?
–The Plaza
Teen girl #1: I just don’t understand why people wait so long to have kids. Then you’re so old that you can’t relate to them. If I’d had a kid when I was like, eleven, he’d have been three by the time I was fourteen.
Teen girl #2: Yeah. I totally read something about this on your LiveJournal.
–Yaffa Cafe, St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Miriam
Girl: Hey, I like your hair.
Mohawked guy: People often ask me “What is your hair?” and I say, “What is Dada?”
–MoMA
Overheard by: rebecca
Girl #1: How are you so fucking skinny!? All I see you do is eat, eat, and eat some fucking more! We just came from Dunkin fucking Donuts where you had a bagel and a fucking muffin! Now you’re eating fucking chocolate! How are you so fucking skinny!? You’re a fucking freak of nature!
Girl #2: Yo, shut the fuck up or I’ll vomit all over your fat ass!
–Q88 bus
Overheard by: Jackie
Girl: Do you want to go get some coffee?
Queer: No way! I don’t want to feel like a fat whore.
–H&M, Herald Square
Guy: Yo, so did you do the AIDS walk thing?
Girl: No. I don’t have AIDS.
Hobo: Not yet she doesn’t.
–Columbus Circle
Girl #1: So is he gay yet?
Girl #2: No, but he’s dating a Jewish girl.
–Flute, Gramercy
