Girl: You know, when my dad was my age he was singing with a traveling choral group.
Guy: Oh really? I didn’t know that about your dad.
Girl: Yeah, the group performed, like, all over the world!
Guy: Really?
Girl: Well, I mean, like, all over Harlem.
–14th & 8th
Guy: Wow, a head on a stick! That’s so cute.
Girl: We should soo take a picture with it.
–Museum of Natural History
Guy #1: Dude, that chick is so hot.
Guy #2: Yeah, I would so pee in her butt.
Guy #1: Oh yeah, I’d pee in her butt, too.
Random dude, passing by: What the fuck?
–Times Square
Overheard by: MindControlFun
Hipster on cell: Yo, eggplant can be vegetarian, right?
–77th between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Anonymous Ambivore
Middle-Aged woman: Damn vegetarians, always trying to take over the world.
–Starbucks, 51st & Broadway
Overheard by: Emaline
Girl: Are bums allowed to be vegetarian?
–Chipotle, 6th Ave between 21st & 22nd
Overheard by: Rabid-Panda
Guy: She’s vegetarian?! I thought she was an alcoholic?
–B7 bus
Shrewd observer: You’ve had way too much cock in your mouth to be vegan.
–Outside The Lucky Cat, 245 Grand St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Constintina
Shoeshine man to group of young people: It ain’t natural. Our bodies, they have the hormones to digest meat. If we were like a goat–and not to insult you, miss, ’cause you’re prettier than a goat–but then that’s okay that we don’t eat meat. But we ain’t. We’re carnivores. If you’re a vegetarian, you gotta listen to your body. It’s tellin’ you: “Meat me!” You know, like, “Meat me!”
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: jacqmander
Guy: Man, I can’t wait. Another half an hour and I can go get fucked up.
Friend: You goin’ out?
Guy: Nah, I got work!
–125th & Riverside
Overheard by: Egg Bird
Budding exhibitionist #1: I have to pee.
Budding exhibitionist #2: Just pee in your pants; you’re on JetBlue.
–JFK tarmac
Guy #1: Don’t you hate when you are sitting on a toilet and need to spit, so you try to aim your spit in between your legs into the water, but you miss and get it all over your dick?
Guy #2: No, I never miss.
–G train
Chick: Is that Broadway? I think it is. I can’t see.
Burly guy: Yeah. Didn’t you put your contacts in?
Chick: No. I haven’t bought new ones yet.
Burly guy: Jesus, Jen! You’ll buy boobs but you won’t buy contacts?
Chick: What’s more important: contacts or boobs?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Erica
Guy: I don’t think you need to tell him. It’s like if he was hit by a car, he’d know he was hit. He wouldn’t need someone to tell him.
Girl: Yeah, but he said it was “ironically,” so I don’t think he knows what happened yet.
Guy: What the fuck does that mean?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Videodrew
Guy: I can’t stand these people who friend everybody in the class of 2010 on Facebook.
Girl: Ugh, I know. Some girl who does that told me my photos made her cry a little.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Michelle
