Queer hipster #1: She’s a bitch.
Queer hipster #2: She *is* a bitch!
Queer hipster #1: She’s a bitch, and she’s ugly and fat.
Queer hipster #2: I know! I saw her in a bathing suit, and I swear, I have never been more flaccid in my life!
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt
Hipster guy #1: Did you hear about the brain dead woman who had a baby?
Hipster guy #2: Whoa. Why’d she do that?
–1st Avenue & 9th Street
Hipster artsy girl: So, did you do that, like, big art show?
Hipster artsy boy: Which one?
Hipster artsy girl: Um, I don't know.
Hipster artsy boy: Then yes.
–W 23rd & 10th
Hipster girl: Post-hipster is like post-irony, you’re being ironic about irony.
Hipster guy #1: Wait, so you can be a hipster and hate hipsters at the same time?
Hipster guy #2: I am so post-hipster!
–Charleston Bar, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Matt Boorady
Hipster #1: I love it when my nose starts bleeding all over the fucking place. That just makes my day.
Hipster #2: Yeah, that’s good times.
Hispter #1: I should probably quit doing coke.
Hipster #2: Yeah, probably.
–Starbucks, Delancey & Allen
Overheard by: not a hipster, I swear
Queer hipster: Do my labia look too puffy?
JAP: What?
Queer hipster: My labia!
JAP: What the hell did you just say? I can’t hear you.
Queer hipster: My va-gi-na lips! Do they look too puffy?
JAP: Oh… No, not at all.
–Ben & Jerry’s
Man on cell: I’m at the bad Duane Reade right now… Yeah, the one on 14th street…I know that’s the good one, but it’s in danger zone.
–Duane Reade, 14th & 3rd
Overheard by: not in danger zone
Girl on cell: I’m in like the Middle East somewhere… Where are you?
–56th & 7th Ave
Overheard by: dnuggets
Hipster on cell: No, I swear to god I am not in Montreal!
–Outside Alligator Lounge, Williamsburg
Overheard by: miles
Lady yelling into pay phone, by platform: I’m in Yonkers! I’m right by the train!
–W 242 & Broadway, Bronx
Overheard by: Krisztina
Harried guy in suit on his cell: Yeah well, I’m at the Port Authority…I hear this is where the buses leave from.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: JoBell
Screaming man on pay phone: Yo -I told yo ass to meet me on 33rd and 5th. I be standin’ here and you ain’t here. [Pause.] What the fuck do you mean!? I be on da corner waiting for yo ass for the past fifty minutes. I only get an hour for lunch. Now you gone and messed up my day cuz yo ass ain’t show up. [Pauses, speaks more calmly.] I’m on da corner of 33rd and 5th. [Screaming again.] Don’t tell me yo ain’t see me! I’m standing right here!
–35th & Madison
Hipster guy: Where do you live?
White girl: Bushwick, for now.
Hipster guy: Bushwick? Aren’t there a lot of… [leans in] black people around there?
–Union Pool, Williamsburg
Overheard by: carapatricia
Hipster girl: I want to like have a housewarming, but, like, I'm concerned about the walkup. Cause there's like smokers coming.
Little friend: How many flights?
Hipster girl: Six.
Little friend : Six stories?! Well, you warn them over e-mail, and then they can decide if they can make it.
–5 Line
Female college student on cell: Sorry, there was an incident. She was eating string cheese, and I told her she looked like a walrus. So she tried to smack me in the face but she couldn't, and I ran into the bathroom. So she tried to hit me with the string cheese, but I was like your string cheese will get all fuzzy. So she smacked me in the face with the cheese.
–Penn Station
Girl on phone: And then I stuck a string cheese in the microwave. Yeah, in the wrapper.
–57th & 7th
Sexy guy, looking at orchestra program description of movement "con brio": Does that mean "with cheese"?
–Camerata Notturna Concert, W. 57th St
Overheard by: Ladle
Older European woman to another: She's fine with the reference to cheese. I mean, she can eat cheese, just not the real kind.
–Union Square
Hipster: So she writes everything down in her cheese diary…
–Bedford & 4th
