Four-year-old girl, riding waspy dad’s shoulders: Daddy, are housing prices going to go down any time soon?
Dad: I sure as hell hope so.
–187th & Broadway
Overheard by: trump-i-poo
Four-year-old girl, riding waspy dad’s shoulders: Daddy, are housing prices going to go down any time soon?
Dad: I sure as hell hope so.
–187th & Broadway
Overheard by: trump-i-poo
Distraught lady: [Sighs] I had the worst night last night.
Suit: What happened?
Distraught lady: [Sighs again, loudly] The kids. Tommy* just wouldn’t stop crying. He was bawling all night.
Suit: Why?
Distraught lady: He kept saying he wanted to go home! He wouldn’t be happy until we were home! So I said, *Tommy, you are home, what do you mean? Explain what you mean by “home.” and then he said he meant home with Isabel, Xander, and Rosa. The nanny!
Suit: Oh my god! So where are they now?
Lady: Out with the nanny, I couldn’t handle them right now.
–Laight St & Hudson
Overheard by: KidUgly
Suit on cell: Yeah, man, I’m so jealous. I mean, my holes have been full for years!
–Times Square
Overheard by: biting my tongue
Suit: I just met you. I can call you an asshole.
–Livingston St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sean McGurr
Suit: Are you listening to me?! The Projects are not natural!
–125th St
Overheard by: Kerry & Bob
Suit: … So then I grabbed the vise-grips and got him by the lips…
–59th & Lex
Overheard by: I really hope he was talking about a fish
Suit on cell: … So he was going to build this underground tunnel to the road from his house. Like, an escape tunnel thing. No, he sold the street-legal side and handles the government contracting. Well, he couldn’t get the zoning for a tunnel, so he’s building a retractable bridge.
–55th & Park
Suit: I hate getting buzzed in the afternoon. It makes me feel like a craven bastard.
–Liberty & Broadway
Overheard by: Mondo Man
DVD salesman: I couldn’t give you a better deal if I slid down the chimney.
Little girl, whispering glumly: But we don’t have a chimney.
–A train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: VassarBoy
Queer hipster: Oooh! We can share your bed!
Hipster chick: Yeah… I have a pull-out couch, too.
–Enid’s, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Jack!
College girl to friend: Yeah, my roommate and I had a cute, girly apartment last year… with a fridge full of beer.
Old black guy nearby: Hahahaha.
–Target
Overheard by: alie
Drunk girl: That is the largest book bag I have ever seen.
Gutter hippie: This isn’t a book bag. This is my house.
–St. Mark’s & 1st Ave
Overheard by: wished i was that drunk
Nerd: So, seriously, where are you from?
Weary Asian hipster girl: Earth.
–Outside Forbidden Planet, 13th & Broadway
Overheard by: can’t wait to use that one
Hobo to fancy lady: Will you take me home with you?
–1 train, 96th St
Woman to friend: I know you’re upset because you’re going home to an apartment without a urinal. I feel the same way. [Suddenly shouting] I’m not seven years old! I need a jacuzzi!
–1 train
Overheard by: Doc
Black suit to friend: I’m just gonna go home and pick my ass.
–Park Slope
Ice queen on cell: You listen to me, Maria — I know you stole those earrings, and if they aren’t back on my bureau when I get home, I’m having you deported!
–E 70th & Lex
Overheard by: MbigE
Angry woman on cell: Why do you keep calling me?! I am going to slap you! Stay home and wait ’til I get there so I can slap you!
–4th Ave platform, Brooklyn
Overheard by: misspenny
Pretty girl to ugly drunk blocking her way: I’m not going home with you! What are you, a fucking idiot?
–Spring & Mott St
Overheard by: Azo
Foreign lady: So, a couple of years ago my country floated away from Venezuela.
Foreign man: Good for you!
–1 train
