Hipster guy: So, I just don't have room.
Smartass girl: You have room for me in your bed.
Hipster guy, after long pause: Ummm, maybe.
–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Yours Truly
Hipster guy: So, I just don't have room.
Smartass girl: You have room for me in your bed.
Hipster guy, after long pause: Ummm, maybe.
–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Yours Truly
Woman: Either he’s a jogger or he’s homeless.
–Union Square
Overheard by: David Alcorn
Sorostitute #1: … And I was like, ‘Uhhh!’ And she was like ‘Uhhh!’ And of course he wanted to come back to the apartment.
Sorostitute #2: Oh my god, I know!
–7th & 1st, East Village
Mother: Honey, put on your shirt. This is a shirt and shoes kind of place.
Small boy: But you let me at home!
–Brooklyn Botanical Garden
Overheard by: Jonathan K.
Guy #1: How's that new apartment?
Guy #2: Every night the rats eat a little bit more of my foot…
–N Train
Young boy: Fuck school! When I’m old enough, I’m just going to stay home and make babies.
–1 Train
College professor: Everything that is wrong in this world can be traced back to babies.
–40th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Just Trying to Smoke in Peace
Girl on phone: I’m going to have to cancel for a few different reasons. First, the baby hasn’t gotten all her shots. And more importantly, there’s something pecking through my wall! I’m really freaked out!
–Bleecker and Lafayette
Woman with three kids, after watching the eldest push the middle to the ground: What are you pushing him down for? Are you trying to upset my stomach so I lose this baby inside me?
–St Marks Place, Staten Island
Girl on cell: Well if she likes to have babies so much, why don’t she just be a … doctor!
–52nd & 7th
Professor: 42-year-old babies don’t have bones.
–Schenectady County Community College
Girl: I'm not going home straight.
Boy: I think you mean “I'm not going straight home.”
Girl: No. I mean “I'm not going home straight.”
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Drunk Girl: I’m really glad you made it out tonight.
Sober Guy: I’m really glad you’re going home.
He closes her cab door and walks away.
–Bleecker St.
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Man on cell: What did I do to you? I bought you a house and you don’t even wanna live in it!
–F Train
Overheard by: LC
Conductor, over intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, this train is overbooked. That’s just the way things are. Life is unfair.
–Amtrak Train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Ladle
Suit: There was a time in my life when I would have never tired of hearing the word "vagina". That time has passed.
–Staten Island Supreme Court
Conductor: Watch your step as you exit the train, and if you’re late, just remember that life is a lot like being on this train: we may not be there yet, but we’re getting there.
–2 Train
Overheard by: can this conductor drive my train every day please?
Straight guy in hot pink underwear: Yeah, I've fallen asleep in deer stands, and all kinds of weird places.
–Gold's Gym, 54th St
Overheard by: Johnny V
Girl on cell: His hair is wiry and weird. He had a party and sold raffle tickets, the winner got to restyle his hair. He's weird.
–1 Train
Overheard by: whirlygirlie518
White teen girl to friends: No, no, no! I told you guys, if I marry a Japanese, then there's all that weird sex stuff. I'm marrying Korean. They're adorable, and don't have that weird communism thing the Chinese do.
–Chinatown
Girl from Nashville on cell: They serve like weird pasta here with weird vegetables and weird meat. My favorite meal here is breakfast. I am so ready to go home!
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: D-Law
