Hobo with cup of change in hand: You have any change?
College kid: Sorry, I don't have any money.
Hobo: Get a fucking job, you bum.
College kid: Fuck you! You first!
Hobo: I'm working right now, asshole.
–Washington Square Park
Hobo with cup of change in hand: You have any change?
College kid: Sorry, I don't have any money.
Hobo: Get a fucking job, you bum.
College kid: Fuck you! You first!
Hobo: I'm working right now, asshole.
–Washington Square Park
Drunk hobo, eyeing designer bottled water: Hey lady, is that all vodka?
UES lady, without missing a beat: Not this morning.
–4 Train
Overheard by: austin
Man going into deli: Don't you have a sweater?
Hobo: Yeah, I got one.
Man: Well, put it on–you will catch cold.
Hobo: I'll put it on later.
Man: Put it on now, you cannot afford to catch cold in your line of business.
–181st & Fort Washington
Hobo, opening door for ATM users: Hey, girl. Remember the homeless. Give money to the homeless.
Woman, leaving ATM and walking out the door: No. I just got fired.
–Citibank, 16th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Lindsay
Lady: How are you doing tonight?
Hobo: I'm miserable. You know I'm homeless?
–54th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Seth
Hobo: Hey! Is them cookies good? Is they good?
Commuter, holding bag of cookies: I'll give you a cookie.
Hobo: Thanks, man. What kind of cookies is these?
Commuter: Coconut.
Hobo: Thanks. Hey, can you do me a favor?
Commuter: I gave you a cookie.
Hobo: Yeah…you got me.
–Penn Station
Old bag lady: What about you, playboy? You got any money for me?
Man: No, sorry.
Old bag lady: You sure? I can take care of your sausage. Arrangements can be made.
(she walks away)
Man, contemplative, to self: Do I really look that desperate?
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Hobo, shivering violently on freezing night: Couldja spare somethin'? Help me out?
(tall guy gives him a dollar)
Hobo: I would appreciate it if you could spare one hundred dollars.
Tall guy, laughing: Tell me about it!
Hobo, still shivering: I'm tryin' to get to Hawaii! Alo-ha!
–7th & 14th
20-year old, passing a hobo: Dude, you smell.
Hobo: Fuck you, hipster!
20-year old: I'm not a hips…
Hobo, cutting him off: Where's your hat?
20-year old: I don't own a h…
Hobo, cutting him off: Fuck you and your hat!
–2nd Ave, East Village
Homeless man #1: Ya don't shit where you sleep, do ya?
Homeless man #2: Dude, I don't sleep where I sleep.
–6 Train
