Idiots

Reporter: Can I have your age?
Woman: Campaign manager.

–Daily News Office

Old school Brooklyn guy: They closed off 150 blocks in DC for this inauguration and where do you think all the people that live on those blocks are gonna park, if not here in the five boroughs?

–Greenpoint

Overheard by: Didi Hylobates

Train Staffer #1: Did you do that terrorism training yet?
Train Staffer #2: No. I’m trying to avoid it.
Train Staffer #1: Yeah. I already missed the first one.

–PATH Train

Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario!

–Carmine St.

Guy #1: I got a cough.
Guy #2: You got a cough?
Guy #1: Yeah, I got one.
Guy #2: I wonder if it’s the same one I got.
Guy #1: It’s a cough.

–LES

Overheard by: David Bowman

Customer: French toast bagel.
Cashier: Cream cheese?
Customer: French toast bagel.
Cashier: French toast bagel, yes, but did you have cream cheese on it?!

–Au Bon Pain, 44th & Madison

Guy: What’s that on your finger?
Girl: It’s a ring.
Guy: I think your ring has an infection.

–South Street Seaport

Subway employee: And what kind of cheese would you like on your turkey?
Woman: Tomato.

–Subway, 98th St & Broadway

Heavily accented barista: Vat can I get forrr you?
Customer: I'll have a tall, iced, nonfat latte…I like your accent. Are you from Brazil?
Heavily accented barista: No, I'm from Bulgaria.
Customer: Oh. Is that near Brazil?

–Starbucks

Overheard by: *smacks forehead with hand*

Patient stranger: You don't know who Christopher Walken is? Let's see… He was in Wedding Crashers.
Jersey blonde: Oh, you mean Bradley Cooper?
Patient stranger: No… He was the Senator.
Jersey blonde: Oh, you mean Vince Vaughn!
Patient stranger: No. Vince Vaughn played Vince Vaughn.

–PATH Train