Girl: What time is it, 5:30? I’m not even supposed to be out.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Because I’m in Milan!
–23rd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Sara
Girl: What time is it, 5:30? I’m not even supposed to be out.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Because I’m in Milan!
–23rd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Sara
Crazy old man selling bubble guns: Welcome to Coney Island!
Emo teen: This isn’t Coney Island!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: smirkingonlooker
Crazy hobo to passing Fordham students: Y’all crazy motherfuckers pay 40 grand a year to get a damn education. Y’all don’t need no education. Pay 40 grand to get me food! Hell, I’ll take four dollars! Look at me — I got no education, and I turned out just fine.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: one of those mothafuckers
Wheelbo: I don’t care what they say, I promise you I’ll pay you back.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: MBS
Hobo: I need money for alcohol, drugs, and a hooker… Hey, at least I’m not bullshitting you.
–35th & 4th
Hobo, as girl nearby drops her Vogue: Oh, no! Somebody dropped their Torah!
–E train
Hobo, to passing suit: Hey, asshole, why don’t you get a job like everyone else, and stop taking my money?!
–34th & 8th
Asian chick: … And that’s the bar where I got roofied.
White chick: You didn’t get roofied! You got food poisoning!
Asian chick: Yeah, I know, but it doesn’t make for as good a story.
–W 4th & 6th
Girl #1: Oh my god, that kid’s head is stuck between the bars! [Entire bus crowd looks as kid pulls head out.]Girl #2: His head wasn’t stuck.
Boy: Oh my god, is that Hugh Jackman? [Entire bus crowd looks.]
–Bus outside the Met
Guy on cell: No, I’m upstate.
–F train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Dislocated Upstater
Dude on cell: Dude, I’m at the library!
–Reade & West Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Man on cell while on bus: Yeah, Mom, I gotta go. I’m getting on the subway.
–99th & Broadway
Overheard by: Zach
Rich lady on cell: Yes, sweetie, I’m in New Jersey now. I miss you, too!
–Wall St
Overheard by: Trillie
Suit on cell: I told you, Jim, I can’t help you now. I’m already in New Jersey!
–Liberty & Broadway
Overheard by: Les Izzmore
Gullible guy: So, are you really a porn star?
Dude in ‘Porn Star’ baseball cap: Yeah.
Gullible guy: Cool.
–The Players Theatre, MacDougal St
Hobo: Do you have a cigarette?
Girl smoking cigarette: This isn’t a cigarette.
Hobo: Oh. [Walks away.]
–Park Row & Beekman
Conductor: Attention, passengers, this J Train is now going express to Myrtle. You hear me? Express. Express! There is a local train right behind this one. This train is going express! [Mob of angry passengers exits train.] Psych! This is a local J Train to Manhattan. Next stop: Chauncey. Please enjoy the leg room brought to you by the New York City MTA.
–Broadway Junction Station, Brooklyn
Overheard by: JRider
Fat guy: I love you.
Cute girl: Do you really mean what you say, or are you just saying it?
Fat guy: Of course I mean it. [They make out, then chick leaves.] What a dumb bitch.
–W4 station
Overheard by: Ting
