Man: I never met a necrophiliac, but my friend met one at Bellevue.
–La Grolla, UWS
Man: I never met a necrophiliac, but my friend met one at Bellevue.
–La Grolla, UWS
Cashier: Do you want anything on it?
Buyer: What?
Cashier: Do you want anything on your hot dog?
Buyer: Yes.
Cashier: What would you like?
Buyer: Nothing.
–Papaya’s, 86th & 3rd
Old man #1: I must have my cloaking device on today! Ha, ha.
Old man #2: Get the fuck out of my way, asshole.
Old man #1: Damn Klingons.
–D’Agostino, Greenwich Street
Overheard by: nick
Guy: What were you doing when I walked in this morning?
Girl: Putting on my pantyhose.
Guy: You looked like a turtle. Don’t ever make me see that again.
–46th & 3rd
Overheard by: MeliV
Chick #1: So was he cute?
Chick #2: He was cute enough.
Chick #1: What does that mean?
Chick #2: I mean, like, I wouldn’t lick his butt or anything.
Chick #1: Ew!
Chick #2: Oh, like you never licked a guy’s butt!
Chick #1: I should never have told you that.
–3rd Avenue & 11th Street
Overheard by: Manhattman
Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!
–30th & 3rd
Woman: Did you call Giuliani? Call in a favor?
Man: I tried, but….
Woman: After all you did for him after 9/11. What a slap in the face.
–Parking garage, 53rd & 5th
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’m shopping with my mom, and she’s shopping for dildos!
–8th & University
Dude: Yeah, I think I have this disease where I can’t remember people’s names.
Chick: You mean AIDS?
–The Big Easy, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Theresa
Queer on cell: You want me to plan something seasonal? In New York City? You mean, like drinking pumpkin lattes in Starbucks?
–E 78th & York
Overheard by: Hollie G.
Hippie hobo: Man, look at those guys out there, working in the tunnels with all that shit. I’d rather be a park ranger, man. Watch me go get another picnic basket! [Pause] God, get me out of this fucking city. New York sucks. I just want to build a tree house.
–Uptown 1 train
Guy to car that nearly hits him as he crosses street against the light: Fuck you! Welcome to New York!
–19th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Ghetto chick: You got a homeless guy blowing kisses at you. You’re a real New Yorker now.
–58th & 8th
Tourist dad to young daughter after seeing two hobos: It’s a New York City thing, honey.
–R train
Woman on cell: I’m walking in an urban landscape. I said I’m walking in an urban landscape!
–78th & Park Ave
Conductor: If you step out of the door, the rest of New York can keep going.
–1 train
Overheard by: Xavier
