Mom: So, is Alex Rodriguez black or Hispanic?
Boy: He’s married.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Bobby
Mom: So, is Alex Rodriguez black or Hispanic?
Boy: He’s married.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Bobby
Mom: What time is the flight tomorrow?
Dad: Seven a.m. We have to get up at 4:30.
Little girl: Mommy, we’re going on an airplane?
Mom: Yes, honey, we’re going to Florida tomorrow.
Little girl: Why are we going to Florida, Mommy?
Mom: We’re going to Grandpa’s unveiling.
Little girl, terrified: Mommy, I don’t want to see Grandpa. He’s dead and scary.
Dad: [Laughing.]Mom: Robert, shut up!
–Christopher & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Surfer Dude #1
Puerto Rican girl to another: I never dated a white guy, ’cause they got bad taste in underwear.
–Subway station, Times Square
Overheard by: Mama
Chick: … So I was dancing in the kitchen in my underwear and I looked out the window and the orthodox Yeshiva student guy that lives across the building from me was just staring open-mouthed. I’m never gonna open the curtains in the kitchen again.
–181st St
Overheard by: LSB
Mother to toddler son: Now, honey, close your eyes. This isn’t for you.
–Frederick’s of Hollywood, King’s Plaza
Queer: I totally go out of my way to wear edible thongs to work.
–Library Bar, Houston & Ave A
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Teen girl quickly descending staircase: I didn’t wear a bra again today. My boobs are bouncing down these stairs!
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Suit on cell: Well, I mean, I have thongs… But I really don’t consider those underwear…
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Laura
Wailing six-year-old boy: But whyyy?!
Mom: Well, I know, honey, but kick him in the shins, don’t kick him in the balls!
–Prince & Broadway
Teen boy: Mom, is it true that some people are both a man and a woman?
Mom: Yes. Well, sort of. Can we talk about this when we get home?
Teen boy: So does that mean they have, like, both–
Mom: –Yes, honey, now be quiet for a little while, okay?
Teen boy: Does that mean they can, like, do the slinky?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
A woman and four fancifully-dressed little kids are waiting to cross the street.
Little girl: Can’t we cross the streeet? What are we waiting for?!
Stressed mom: Your father. Remember? The guy you want to be cremated with?
–72nd & Central Park West
Overheard by: Elm City Lass
Mother: You have to cut her chicken fingers up. I gave her a whole one the other day and she almost choked to death.
Father: I like for her to learn to take bites.
Mother: She’s not ready.
Two-year-old daughter: I’m not ready, Dad.
–Diner, Midtown
Little boy: Mom, how did the dinosaurs cook their meat?
Mother: They didn’t, they ate it raw.
Little boy: Oh. [Long pause.] Are Japanese people dinosaurs?
–Astoria Park
A lady tries to catch her balance on the moving subway by grabbing the handle of a stroller in the aisle.
Baby mama: Excuse me?! Why is yous touchin’ my fuckin’ stroller for?!
Grabby lady: Oh, I’m sorry.
Baby mama to her baby daddy: What the fuck?!
Dude nearby: That baby doesn’t have a chance.
–Manhattan-bound N train
Overheard by: Jared
